For a long time now

For a long time now
As long as I can remember
I have hid in fear
From the people around me
From the thoughts around me
From the fears around me.

For a long time now
As much as I possible can
I have tried so hard
To help the one around me
To tend to issues not mine
To be the "nice" guy

For a long time now
As long as time permits
I have worked and worked
To be that better person
To not bow down to those who hate me
To not lower my self to those I hate

Yet for a long time now
As long as I can remember
I have failed
To blind my self off the world
To block out horrible thoughts
To be unafraid of the fears

Yet for a long time now
As much as I possibly can
I have failed
To make the one I love happy
To mend all wounds but mine
To just smile

Yet for a long time now
As long as time permits
I have failed
To rise above whom I am
To raise my head to those of hate
To be higher than those I fear