Love and Darkness

by Brittany C   Jul 9, 2007


The day dwindles into night.
Darkness spreads over the land,
as the twinkling stars spot the velvet sky.
On this dark night love still shows bright,
but the seems to shadow all else.

The two lovers walk hand in hand.
Where they go light and love spread.

But than one dark night,
sadness sank into all hearts.
For one of the lovers died,
all the land steadily became darker.
With no one left to love.

The one time lover feel into disappear.
The sorrow consumed her till she
was no more and she passed on into
a whole new world where there was only light.
To a world where her lover had waited for her.

To a place better than this one could ever be.
Where there were no wars that could separate them
from one another and there was no darkness.
Full of peace and amazing beauty touched the soul.

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Nix

    Very interesting poem. You created great atmosphere but you have some mistakes. You used some words more than ones and that destroys flow. Anyway first stanza is my favorite one, this poem deserves 5/5

  • 18 years ago

    by Debbie

    If it is desired by the maker, this dark piece of work will have the potential to be augmented and enhanced in the future. You've got poetical lines which were rather naturally potent, I dare say; and I, furthermore, believed that by reshuffling the structure of words and phrases, you'll [re]generate a much stunning success.

    Potentially compelling, nevertheless. Thanks for sharing.

    Best wishes,
    Marian

  • 18 years ago

    by Andrew Morton

    I think you could have gone a tad farther with it, I mean - its great writing, but it lacks that UMPH..if that makes any sense - I do love your choice of words however, you used those that would capture the raw emotion and put that message through...keep up the good work!

  • 18 years ago

    by Kirsty palmer

    Wow... thats so emotional yet still such a great poem.. incredible .. well written.

    rates&comments always apprechiated
    Kirsty
    xx

  • 18 years ago

    by Silver Raven Wolf

    Wow your poem was beautiful,very touching
    Well done.
    TTFN,
    Wolf

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