Torn

The confusion tears at my mind
My head soars like a firefly
My thoughts are treating me so unkind
And all contemplation is WHY?

The tears are streaming uncontrollably
Feelings of guilt, shame and regret
These feelings, the have become me
The outcome of my actions wont let me forget

My hands begin to shake and quiver
My eyes drain and lose all meaning
Hopelessness, misery and isolation became my surrender
There is a world broader but I am limited to what I am capable of seeing

The hurt, the pain, violation and jealousy
The tears, the rage, anger and resentment
This unknown force, the way it controls me
Won't let go and leave me content

I am torn between two perspectives
My mind is lost to a wedge
The future. it seems so deceptive
As the devil takes my soul and there's no way left to salvage

I had such high hopes and dreams
Deliverence for a new beginning
Now i know not what anything means
Except the life i have started leading

The threat of tomorrow
Sends a chill down my spine
For i dont know what will follow
Though i have already lost what was mine

Eight years have now passed
Leaving me vulnerably cast
Under a shadow like no rest
Only because i have lost the best