I surrender (part 1)

I didn't mean to do it
I tried so hard not to
But the razorblade
It was calling to me
I could not ignore it
It possessed my mind
It held my consciousness
Tight in its vicelike grip
I could not disobey it
I tried so hard not to
Listen to its sweet
Sweet red voice
As it called to me
The answer of God
To all my prayers and problems
The answer to the question
Of how to deal with life.