Never saying sorry

I'm sick of myself
all this crying and sighing
this road of dejection
when i could be flying........
i wish i could rise
without holding your hand
if only i knew how to stand.

this life of no laughter
soft footsteps of fear
as the white birds spin past
why can i not hear?
i wish i could sing
but not only am i blind
my voice is impossible to find.

but i will never surrender
to this endless put down
i do not need to be loved
but please just do not frown.....
i wish i could scream
yet i'm too afraid someone will hear
for i do not want anyone to come near.

no. i cannot keep believing
that i've paid for myself
all that i've owed
or is it set on the shelf?
i wish i could love
but a heart can only belong to one
if only i could live with none.

i beg and i plead
in my poor tortured mind
but i'm never saying sorry
not while the moonlight does wind....
i wish i could wish
but the stars all go dark when i look at the sky
i'll have to make do with the apologies i cry.