Marsha (double Acrostic)

by unknown   Jul 27, 2007


Mock me if I always deprave your realm
Abuse me if I paste you in my memorabilia
Ridicule me if I fail to be your shelter
Slay me if I'm unable to bring happiness
Humiliate me if I can't give you warmth
Abandon me and I'll show you the way to utopia

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  • 16 years ago

    by xxSnow Angelxx

    Hey...the poem is cleverly penned....emotions are pretty well conveyed..i am not all that good in double acrostics myself..but you've made it look simple yet graceful....well keep writing...=) on a personal basis...maybe u should go in for a better grl..yeah i know one falls in love only once in a lifetime...
    anyways great job!
    keep up the good work buddy!

  • 16 years ago

    by Allison

    Wow, this was beautiful. It had a nice flow to it and you uses lovely vocabulary. The only thing that I found wrong was:

    Slay me if I unable to bring happiness

    Was I suppose to be I'm?

    Keep up the good work. *5/5*

  • 16 years ago

    by Nigel Oliver

    This was beautiful,
    You expressed your emotions flawlessly.

    Your use of words was interesting,
    I liked this.

  • 16 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    Okay. This was BEAUTIFUL.

    I always find acrostics somewhat difficult to get the flow just right, but you have mastered it beautifully here.

    Despite being relatively short, you managed to put in so much depth and emotion, and the longing is easily felt by the reader.

    You did a wonderful job on this.

  • 16 years ago

    by Kaila

    I love your use of words. Wonderful job. I'm not sure as if I understand the last line. But it works. Well done
    5.5
    kaila

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