I looked up at you with my big brown eyes.
I was so small pathetic in size.
Then you held me close to your heart.
Told me I was beautiful adorable and smart.
You said you would awalys love me.
And I was so small that I didnt see.
That you were telling me a lie.
Therefore I felt no reason to cry.
So I loved you as much as my little heart could.
Probably more that a little heart should.
You were my mommy my life.
Keeping me happy and away from the knife.
But then something came over you.
And it seemed there was nothing I could do.
You loved me less and my brother more.
You never even said goodbye when walking out the door.
Anything he did made your love for him grow.
You said he was so smart there wasn't anything he didnt know.
So I tried my best to be smart for you too.
Trying to change and be something new.
But you didn't even notice no matter how hard I tried.
You ignored me more and left me alone while I cried.
Soon my love for you faded as well.
For the fall I tried to avoid I had already fell.
Then I became distant and dark.
My heart covered in a strange painful mark.
My coldness seemed to catch your eye.
And finally you seemed to notice that I cry.
When you finally asked me what was wrong.
I let the beautiful silence play its sad song.
Soon the silence bothered you.
So you screamed at me and told me to become something new.
But I had already tried that a while back.
And ended up in nothing but black.
So I held my silence as you left me once more.
Slamming behind you the big wooden door.
I rose to my feet and stared at the wall.
My heart was empty I felt nothing at all.
And to think I had spent my life trying for you.
Awalys changing to become something new.
Trying to be everything you wanted me to be.
Instead of being what I wanted to be......just me.
But no longer would I try for you.
No longer would I try to be something new.
I am what I am and youve made me this way.
So my way of life is here and here it will stay.
