Best Friend Betrayal

by dollwithafrown   Aug 1, 2007


You used to be my only friend;
The only one of whom I could talk to.
You wouldn't talk back, you'd sit there and listen,
Always knowing exactly what to do.

You were my world, my Teddy:
The entirety of a 6-year-old's life.
But then you let those boys steal you,
And they cut you right up with a knife.

How could you do that, Teddy?
I no longer could talk to anyone.
There were people around me, night and day,
But I wanted and needed my number 1.

You're up in Heaven with the other teddies,
And I'm stuck down here alone.
You betrayed me by leaving me, Teddy,
And now I sit here all on my own.

    report violation
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  • 16 years ago

    by HOLLYWOODxBANGBANG

    Aweh, I for one loved this because this happened to my favorite teddy and I am still upset over it lol. Great poem, captures, once again, an insight to a little child`s mind...and I love that about your work.

    5.5
    :]

  • 16 years ago

    by Synh

    I have to say I didn't really like this poem. It was rushed and didn't convey in heart in it. It sounded like you wanted to write a sad poem just to be writing a sad poem and it didn't work out very well. I'm sorry, but this was definetely not your best and you could've done better than this.

  • 16 years ago

    by twisted reality

    O.O What happened to this poor girl?! Did she die because she got ganged up on? Or...what? :S I seem to be missing the whole point lol. It left me wanting to know more. Which is good. In a way o.O

    The flow was there, but the rhymes seemed a little cliche. Try using new rhymes that you don't normally see and it'll turn up better. Not that yours was horrible or anything. It just needs something. Good write ^_^ 5/5 xoxo

    Samantha

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