Once a cheater, always a cheater

I walk around my room
razor in hand
phone in the other
trying to fight back tears
as they slowly stream down my face
i look in the mirror
and say to myself
"is he really worth it?"
worth all this pain?
i look at the razor
then to the phone
as i fall to my knees
my head buried in my hands
wishing to wake up from this nightmare
and praying that he really didn't do it
that he really didn't cheat on me
which is when i realized that
this nightmare is reality
and he just fu**** himself big time
"i love you" "i love you" is what he says
he tells me what i want to hear
and NEVER meant saying it
and IF he meant it
he wouldn't have done what he did
and I'm still confused on why he's with me
if he wants to leave, i cant stop him
if he wants to play the field, I'll let him
if he wants her instead, i guess I'm gone.
but no matter his decision
i just want him to know
that even though HE never meant it
when i said "i love you"
i thought that signaled the fact that
i need you in my life
but make your decision quick
I'm sick of the pain
and I'll always remember these few words that you said
" i want to be with you forever."