Ballad Of Robin Hood

Mr. Vigilant, he's quick to judge and always striving
To know which way the wind should blow.
He plants the evidence and blames you, because he's so conniving,
He's never wrong with his decidings, because he calculates them slowly.
His smirk shines through when he accuses you of something that is not a crime,
And he makes sure to implement his devine grime
When your face is covered, you will lose all of your pride.
He asks you questions just to see your reply,
So he can decide what to think of you next time.

Mrs. Better-Than-You she knows the wind well too,
She thinks you should be sad although you're happy, and counts on you.
She tosses stones in the air, hoping they will fall on you,
And when they miss, she asks you to return them, for another debut.
She eats a lot and is never satisfied, she blames it all on you,
Because you weren't there to hand her a knife, when she yelled for you,
And all the while you sat there, looking like a fool
You could have been elsewhere being happy too.

Mr. Always-There, he throws in a few simple words,
Just to make sure you saw him, and he can collect his debt to Lucifer.
He reminds you that hes better than you, because he's going places
And he spits like a proud sailor to make a nice impression.
He doesn't know a thing, but pretends to be so smart,
He got his diploma from his so-called heart.
When the time comes for him to leave, he pulls out a few chance words,
To let you know he cares for you, and wouldn't hurt a bird.

Mrs. Pretend-To-Like-You she asks plenty of questions,
And always nods at your situations.
There was a time her act was so refined, you even fell for it,
And then she revealed it was all pretend.
She is always hanging herself and never dies,
Because she has no spine.
Sometimes she listens in to your conversations, and asks what they're about
But doesn't pay attention when you explain them finely.

And then there's Robin Hood, always down to earth,
He doesn't pretend to know it all, or to be a better friend.
He takes out a dollar and gives it to the swine,
Because he loves the homeless, and doesn't want them to die.
You can't see him at parties, or at big goodbyes,
He always sneaks around, to not have to say his "hi's".
He doesn't like those who pretend to be political,
And can't be seen with them for it would be hypocritical.