My Mistake

I'm not mad at her,
or anyone else.
The person I'm mad at,
is only myself.

I always knew
nothing good could ever last.
Why did I think the future
could be any different from the past.

After so many thing going wrong,
I thought this one thing might go right.
Instead of everything being sad and dark.
It could've finally been happy and bright.

It hurt so much to learn
I'd lose another friend.
I've decided this is the last time
I'll open up to anyone again.

I can't take it anymore.
To reach such and incredible high to bring me so far down.
I'm tired of being so hurt and confused.
Never finding a middle ground.

If I could have one thing
I would want my old life.
But I have to settle with this body
being cut up with this dull knife.

My willingness to help others
is what keeps killing me.
When will this cycle of loving and leaving
finally cease to be part of me