The Never Ending Puzzle

I should have known.
First loves are never truly over.
It's a never ending puzzle,
One that's clasping my sanity by the reins.
Desperately,
I'm trying to put the pieces back together,
But there's always this one piece missing...
Does "he" not care anymore?
Is that the piece?
Or am I involved with the loss?
Or could it even be reality missing,
Causing it stay incomplete?

I can't lie to myself...
He never leaves my mind.
My heart aches when his vision comes in my mind.
My heart jumps when I see him mouthing three words to me in my dreams.
Maybe I should stop lying to myself...
I still do feel...
But isn't that normal?

After all,
"He" was the one,
The one who taught me how to love.
How to smile.
How to make my eyes glimmer.
How to stop... all of the depressing things.

He taught me it wasn't worth it,
No,
Not worth it to just throw my life away.
My mind screams at me whenever Cutty comes back home,
Whenever the feelings of dark, loneliness, cold, and dead desire to take over.
For once, my heart sings in harmony with my mind.

But how can I possibly complete the puzzle?
Am I missing something?
Or am I overlooking something in my dreams...
Like how whenever he says "I love you" to me,
There's no voice?

Perhaps it's never meant to be completed...
But I just can't give up.