Never Meant to Fall for You

I never meant to fall for you;
this feels like a big mistake.
But still you keep me guessing
with every breath I take.

How can it be that I'm guilty
of the same thing I hate?
I have to pull myself together,
before its too late.

I don't want to crush you, Sweetie
and I don't want to hurt him.
I may be yours, but you're not mine;
it's a three-way mess I'm in.

I gave you a promise of forever
don't call it cheating, call it a lie.
I can't seem to let this go
no matter how hard I try.

I don't want to want you so bad, but
your name sounds so much sweeter on my lips
my head's been spinning since that night
I can still feel the tingle of your fingertips.

You say you can wait,
but you don't.
You say he'll be okay,
but you know he won't.

When I'm holding him can't you see
that I want it to be you?
But you're four years too young,
and I don't know what to do.

I wish my mind would stop spinning
I want to be out of this mess.
So just take a step back
and let fate handle the rest.

You're everything I want
but you're not what I need.
I wish I could take you both,
without getting caught up in the unfair greed.

If I could leave him without breaking a heart,
I'd do it in a moment.
But there's more to it than that,
and you know it.

If you could only see him touch me,
the quiet way he holds me close,
Maybe you'd get why I can't break him down,
maybe then you would really know.

I can't let you keep quiet;
you can't be my dirty little secret,
And if this is forever or for never,
then so be it.

(for Brennan, and to David, who will never know...)