My life

I sit and think and wonder why
I have to live instead of die,
The world seems dark, hopeless, and curse
an everyday the cuts get worse.

With every ache and pain I hide
The endless nightmares will not subside.
I treasure nothing but a blade
hoping one day my tears will fade.

it takes so much just to smile
when thinking of carving all the while,
The hall way down the path of life.
Causes nothing but madness and strife.

Because everyday just gets longer,
as i get weaker instead of stronger.
I'm sick of pretending the laughter is fake,
But how many risks am I willing to take?

I don't feel satisfied with cuts and gore, Inside I feel empty.
I just want more.. I always seem to feel the need,
to starve myself, to cut and bleed.
This is my story now you know,
My life is hell, let it go.