So Much Your Heart Can't See [Rondeau]

by Twisted Heart   Sep 8, 2007


There is so much your heart can't see
Your thoughts are running wildly
Your mind has tricked your soul tonight
Put forth a thought that dimmed your light
Then tangled you with so much ease

Oh gentle one, I give to thee
A tender breath of faith, for me
Because doubt has you in its sight...
Your heart can't see

My love, I pledge, so wistfully
Caressing with hope tenderly
Among the moon and stars so bright
Still your mind holds you too tight
Since walls rise up to conquer thee...
Your heart can't see.

A Rondeau is a French form, 15 lines long, consisting of three stanzas: a quintet, a quatrain, and a
sestet with a rhyme scheme as follows: aabba aabR aabbaR. Lines 9 and 15 are short - a
refrain (R) consisting of a phrase taken from line one. The other lines are longer (but all of the
same metrical length).

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Synh

    I'm sorry, but I didn't really like this one. The entire piece seemed forced, like you couldn't come up with a sentence that went with the sentence before it. However, I do think it has something to do with the style. Maybe I'm not used to it or what but I wasn't too fond of the style either. As far as love poems are concerned, I didn't like it but don't take that the wrong way. I usually don't enjoy love poems. But this wasn't my favorite; I've read better from you.

  • 16 years ago

    by Tricky Daze

    Wow..sheakspear style..And I loved the chilling feeling all along this masterpece
    And I liked the form much

    Keep it up
    Take care,
    Laura

  • 16 years ago

    by *Charisma*

    Interesting form. I enjoyed the last stanza a lot! Good wording and intriguing form!
    Charisma*

  • 16 years ago

    by Cindy

    Jeannie
    I was just going to go to bed and I read this.....darn it now I need tissues. Excellent!

    My love, I pledge, so wistfully
    Caressing with hope tenderly
    Among the moon and stars so bright
    Still your mind holds you too tight
    Since walls rise up to conquer thee...
    Your heart can't see

    I feel everyone of your words my dear friend what an amazing piece you have penned.
    Love Cindy