Racing Thoughts, Accursed Dreams, and Foresaken Feelings.

Thunder crashing and rain pounding on the window, a storm with clouds swirling and darkening.

Same as my thoughts just swirling and darkening, thoughts of sadness, anger, pretending to be happy and thoughts of being scared of losing someone.

Everything good that happens ends up being ruined, and its all because of me everything is my fault.

Guilt and worry are two things I carry on my shoulders a lot, guilt because everything is my fault and worry because I don't want to lose anyone.

That is never going to end, I am always going to worry, and always going to feel guilty.

I ruin everything because I am cursed, I feel the pain you feel it makes me cry.

Because of the curse, and me I ruin everything from ruining a birthday party, to ruining a good day.

Haunted by dreams, dreams of the past and the future making me feel so confused.

Happy in the past, depressed now, and pretending to be happy all the time. Who am I? The happy girl you saw or the depressed person you see now?

Chains wrapped around me bounding me to these forsaken thoughts.

Thoughts of suicide, thoughts of being alone forever.

I hate these feelings, they are ruining my life! I have a loving family and I have wonderful friends, but I always feel as if I am losing them.

Are these problems just part of being a teenager or do they haunt me just like me dreams?

The thing that bothers me the most is wishing I knew who I was, which girl am I the one I used to be or the one I am today?

These thoughts racing through my head, and I end up lost in my own mind.

Tonight I will sleep, but just to be haunted and cursed with these racing thoughts, accursed dreams, and forsaken feelings.