My Strength

I am strong and tough
But not all the time
I act like it because I want to help,
I want to be strong for everyone else,
But I can't not all the time
I need to have someone for me!!
To be strong for me but no one does
I help everyone my friends and family
Whenever they need credit or a shoulder to cry on
Anything they needed me, I was always there..

But, it is different for me
When I ask its always the same
No sorry I can't help you.

Well at this moment, I feel like saying
Screw you, screw you all I always help you
And when I want help I get knocked back..

My tears I cry come down and down
But right now, no more I can not cry
I can not even water my eyes
Nothing and no one can or will help me who's here
I want to give up, I want to fade away but
I am not, my family heeds me now
They have gone through so much

My grandfather has given up
He wants to go he wants to fade
I know I can not deal with that
I was at a funeral, Mr and Mrs Fraser's funeral
It was sad I knew them well
But when the family went to say goodbye
To Mr Fraser I cried the most
You know why,
Because I thought of another
I heard my grandma on the phone telling his sister that
He has given up, he wanted to fade
He said his time was coming, he is next
I hated that is what they are hiding from all the others
Its not fair

Its funny though while I writing
Four days since the funeral the first time in days
I feel a tear running down my face
Its cold but yet I am warm
I am full of sorrow
Its hard now every time I see him now
My grandad I will cry
And think will this be the last time??
Will it be the last time I will see him
I can not let go not at all
I just want to know what to do
Please lord, give my more strength, hope and
Trust so I can help my family through
I want to be there, there to help
Not to cry to help my family through
That time when it comes

See I told you I am not as strong as I seem
Nor as tough as I wanna be
I am just like you scared of what might happen
To everyone close I just wanna be strong for everyone else

Even though only one person is there for me
That is my boyfriend
My love
He might be far away
But he is there, for me
He was always here for me
When he needed me
I love so much
At least I hope
Everyone needs others to be strong for them
When in need