Love Attack

by Pete   Sep 24, 2007


You punched me, smashed me,
Shook me down.
Jumped me, thrashed me,
All around.
You hate me, screwed me,
Knocked me out.
You ate me, chewed me,
Spat me out.
You pawed me, bit me,
Made me bleed.
You floored me, hit me,
Did the deed.
You stabbed me, shot me,
Robbed me blind.
You jabbed me, got me,
Blew my mind.
You scratched me, scraped me,
Poked my eye.
You slapped me, raped me,
Made me cry.
Detest me, distrust me,
Walked out the door.
You left me, pushed me,
And I want you more.
You've locked me, snared me,
Come back my love.
It shocked me, scared me,
I was attacked by love.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Cella Bella

    Well, you haven't ceased to amaze me yet. The structure of this poem is unique and works so well for this piece. Each line just grabs the reader and pulls them. You had me wanting more and then left me satisfied. Great write. 5/5

    marcella

  • 16 years ago

    by Sandra D

    This is so amazingly good!
    i really like the rhythm, it was perfect
    and the flow was good
    and great job with the rhymes :]
    5/5

    ~Sandra

  • 16 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    I agree with Charisma...you certainly have a way with words.
    How the hell have I missed your poetry all of this time?
    This was amazing..blunt, powerful, straight to the point and yet so beautifully and elegantly written...much like all of your other work.

  • 16 years ago

    by Pete

    Thanks for your comment Charisma - i was never sure of that stanza. I wanted to put across the image of being shot in a love sense. I couldn't get it to work right at all.
    I've removed it and will work on it.
    Thanks for all your comments guys/girls - it really helps me improve.

  • 16 years ago

    by *Charisma*

    You fired Cupids arrow,
    Like the fiercest dart.
    Your aim was narrow,
    Yet you pierced my heart,

    that stanza was unlike the rest in it's rhyme. But can I just step back from my critiques for a moment and say WOW HOLY COW! That was amazing! This piece and your rhymes and everything, I'm just....WOW! It's beautiful. Your rhymes are powerful without sounding forced, your message is strong, and your ending was like WOW! Didn't see that coming. Man, you have got a way with your words.
    Charisma*

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