Confusion

Confusion covers my eyes and makes them dark
Makes me afraid to completely give my heart
I'm surrounded by those who love me yet I feel so alone
Living in this self-made hell I call home
Wishing for the day when I can be happy
And longing for someone who loves me for me
So many years spent alone with my thoughts
No one to share them with afraid to get caught
Letting someone in who might understand
What this torment is going through my head
Who will hold my hand all the way
Fighting these demons day after day
Never have I really lived just tried to get by
Waiting for a reason or someone to show me why
This life is worth living, worth giving my heart
All fears set aside now a new start
My eyes get a little brighter with each new day
With someone who shows me love in sweet little ways
But I still return to that self-made hell
Trapped, afraid and drowning in a deep dark well
Never truly breaking free
No else's fault, no one to blame but me