Loneliness

Loneliness encompasses my body and soul.
Desperately searching for someone to make me whole.
Torn between those I love,
Looking for answers form heaven above.
Longing and waiting but still no answer,
Depression grows, spreading like cancer.
Why must I love or have feelings at all?
It would be easier to crumble and fall,
Into the arms of darkness where I can feel safe.
Safe from these feelings that insist on haste.
Cradled in the dark, afraid to crawl out,
Voices in my head scream and shout.
Telling me to love and to be not afraid,
Thoughts weaving through my mind like an unending braid.
Days go by slowly, I sit and wait for each to end,
Waiting for the nightfall and my loneliness to begin.
I love and hate my loneliness, for it both scares and comforts me.
I love and hate my loneliness, because it pushes me to be.