by dj Oct 6, 2007
category :
Sadness, depression /
grieving, loss
"do you love me?"Jenna asked |
Your concept is sweet, but I just have to highlight a thing or two in a friendly manner, the rhythm of the poem is very similar to that of a short story.try to break the stanzas a little and shorten the sentences, there's a lot of potential in it to be a beautiful poem,as a short story it is sweet :-) |