Bright Red Flames

by NearlyCrazy6   Oct 7, 2007


My back is up against this wall
I don't know where to turn
Where am I at all?
All I feel is the burn

I see bright red flames in front of me
All I remember is waking up sweating
Why is it so hard to see?
My house is on fire I'm betting

This is not good whatsoever
My mom is screaming outside
This heat is worse than my head being severed
There is no where to hide

The fire comes forward
Mocking me as it dances
The door is coming forward!
Right on top of me, I have no chances

I was killed that night
By some idiots lighting up my home
It doesn't seem right
But now I have the whole world to roam

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Pete

    All the way through this piece I was feeling anxious for the subject. Wondering how they would react to being trapped and facing their impending doom. I must tell you, you did a great job of switching it around. After the last line .. I envy the subject .. Free as a bird!

    Its nicely written and uses rather nice imagery (for the most part), I would possibly reconsider the head servering scene - it's maybe just a bit gory.

    It flows very nicely, never seeming forced or pressured. The second to last line could possibly do with 1 more syllable in it, its the tinciest bit short.

    ~ Summary ~
    Darkly despairing feelings - topped with a feeling of joy for the freedom he/she now has.

    ~Pete.

  • 16 years ago

    by ihrtschlepper

    Its kinda interesting!

    ilike the ending!

  • 16 years ago

    by Melpomene

    I loved the meaning you portrayed behind this poem, It was interesting and didn't bore me what so ever. The length was good not too long and not too short. The word choice was simple which was alright but I think you could of made this poem a tiny touch more deeper with using more vivider words. None the less a good effort. Well done. ~Mel

  • 16 years ago

    by xoxkatrinaxox

    WOW. I LOVE IT. UR IMAGINATION IS TO DIE FOR!

  • 16 years ago

    by nikki

    Wow. it was totally amazing. i loved every word of it. the imagery was perfect and i thought it was great. 5/5

    The fire comes forward
    Mocking me as it dances
    The door is coming forward!
    Right on top of me, I have no chances

    loved those lines^^^

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