What I'll do tongiht

Swallowed in my dreams
that never came true
drowning in my tears
that fell because of you
I became numb
with each day that passed
i knew from the beginning
I could never last
So many wishes
that died along with me
so many things
i know I'll never experience or see
I know that this is hopeless
I was just a big mistake
I know that theres too much pain
this was all that i can take
I held out for as long as i could
Smiling and faking
Like i knew
I should
Suicide
has swam in my mind
Every night
i know it is time
Too scared to take the pain
scared to try
because i know
I'll take the blame
I'm tired of trying
I really want to go
So I'll leave as soon as i can
You'll hopefully never know
I now smile
as i take the blade
in my hand
just as I've planned
Suicide is my escape
Suicide might not sound right
But it is my only escape
tonight