My Last GoodBye...

It's been a long time you know. I've gotten much older and now I'm a big brother. I see what you had to go through now. They are a pain but you have to love them you know. I'm in high school now and let me tell you its totally different from middle school. Oh! We moved GG, to a new state this time. It seems like every year I'm going further and further away from you. Don't think I've forgotten about you, I remember everyday. Mom is hanging in there, still strong as always. She's finally pursuing her dreams too, I'm happy for her.

I miss you GG, I miss you a lot. It's getting harder and harder to hold back the tears. Remember the days when you had to take me to school, always wanting to be carried, and you always did, you always carried me, or the times when you had to go into town. You always brought me with you. Why did you leave me this time GG? Why did you have to go? I know you haven't heard from me for a while, but I never forgot you.

Always asking when I was going to see you again, but not like this... not like this GG... I was supposed to look you in the eyes and see a smile that never fades as I say "I love you GG it's about time I saw you again," But not with you asleep... pale, breathless, closed eyes that will never open for me again. You had no right to leave! To leave us, you had a family DAMMIT! You had me...

I know its a part of life, but not this soon, not this early. I had so much to show you, a life of peace. A life of freedom, Always saving people even when they don't deserve saving. You were always worrying about other peoples troubles, even when they caused the trouble, especially for me. It was suppose to be my turn to save you, but I couldn't... I couldn't even say goodbye...

The sun doesn't shine for me anymore GG. It's always raining, always cold; it's lonely where I am now, and it scares me, that I will never find my way back. Always dreaming of an escape, but can I never find a way out. It hurts you know... to know that you aren't here. Who do I go to now? Who's going to hold me and say its ok?

I've failed before, but never like this not as a grandson... The last chance I had to say goodbye I couldn't even move. I just stood there frozen, as they put you in your last bed.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry I never got to tell you that I need you, that I needed you. Sorry I never told you Grandma, that you were the GREATEST GRANDMA I had...

Goodbye GG