The meaning of life

I try, and I try but nothing never seems to go right,
Feelings in, feelings out, don't know which way to go, I'm in serious doubt,
Thoughts about suicide; maybe yes, maybe no, what it is, I'll truly never know,
I'm racing against time, but why?
My thoughts won't seem to get organized,
I'm torn in half of what is right and what is wrong, being myself or being what is expected of me ?
What is the true meaning and purpose of life in general?