Holiday Horrors - Halloween

Every Halloween,
Is worse then the next one
I don't go to parties,
Get treats, or do something fun

I went tricker treating once,
Rather then handing out candy at home
But what a horrible experience THAT was
I still have nightmares about those peoples home...

So I guess I'll tell you, the whole brutal tale
Of when I dressed up, and set off into the night
It was eery out there, it was a huge fright

The first door I knocked on,
An elderly lady opened the door
"Trick or Treat!" I said,
So she put in a chocolate bar, then asked
"Would you like some more?"

"I have more in the kitchen,
In my van and in the car
I have lots and lots of yummy treats!
From Gummies to Mars Bars!"

So I hesitantly entered,
Where she sat me down on a chair
The rug felt really furry,
It was a rug- made of bear

She left the room for a second,
And I glimpsed at what was in here
There was a skeleton of a bird,
And a string, on the roof-
And on the end of it... an ear

She came back into the room,
With two whole plates of candy!
She put them both on the table,
And said "Dig up! Now, isn't this just dandy?"

I did oblige,
I gulped most of it down
Then I said my thanks,
And then started to leave- I wanted out. NOW!

But then she grabbed my sleave,
And said "Oh, please don't leave!
I have more candy and pie,
Gummies and tarts
Please don't leave!
I'm just a lonely old fart!"

I felt kind of bad,
So I sat back down
Then she dashed from the room,
And came back with a crown

"I name thee,
King of the country!
You will rule the witches and elves,
But you cannot enter the Magic Portal,
If you don't take these pills!"

"Pop a pill!
One or two?
They kind of taste like shoes,
But don't worry,
You just swallow them easy,
Then we can go down to the portal, your majesty!"

I just stared at her,
Wondering if it was a joke,
So I thought I'd play along,
And grabbed the crown out of her hands
What's the worst that could go wrong?

Then she left the room a third time,
What the hell is going on?
Then she came back with a cauldron,
And a dead rat and batton

"We need the ingridients,
And oh yes! The pills!
Swallow those right down, your highness
Watch me- It's this easy!"

She grabbed three pills from her pocket
And popped them into her mouth
Then she started laughing histerically
"Come, king! It's openin-" *WHACK*

I whacked her on the noggin
With the crown she gave to me
I fretted about what I did,
Until both her eyelids popped open
And all there was was whiteness!
No pupils! NOTHING!
Then she opened her mouth,
And yelled in a hoarse voice
"YOU WILL DIE,
YOU WILL DIE, TONIGHT!"
Then I bolted the hell outta there!
Leaving only behind me, my memories

And then I never went out again,
Scared of what might happen
I just hand out treats to kids,
Who don't know it yet-
But will tumble upon that house soon enough