No one even cares

There was no rush as promised
No relief, just pain
Yet still I dream and wait in excitement
Of doing it again
Like a knife to butter
The scissors split my skin
My heart pounding with shock
Had I let the depression win?
I think about it
All day long
Hour upon hour
Like an annoying song
There is no doubt
That it hurt me real bad
But oddly it's the best pain
I ever have had
They think it was an accident
The scissors just caught me
Little do they know
Thats how I'd planned it TO be
But only after do I worry
If I get addicted to this
It's gonna be so hard
To hide forever my wrist
It won't last long
Soon enough someone will see
And in a mental hospital
Is where you all will find me
But then you read the stories
Of wrists being hidden for years
No one ever found out
Not even their closest peers
So I tell myself it's just this once
But I really know
This is a dangerous habit
which will take strength to let go
All I have is anger
Sadness, hurt and pain
How will all this prevent me from
Slicing myself again?
Why do i bother worrying?
When no one even cares
To ask me what is bugging me
No one even dares

It's not my best poem but it gets the point across about whats happening and how I'm feeling. sorry its not Good