Comments : Tears of blood

  • 16 years ago

    by Hey Brittknee

    The poem itself was amazing and full of emotion but some of the wording was a little off, and it might be better to put into stanzas because the lines dont flow together as great but would fit amazingly into stanzas

    5/5
    brittknee

  • 16 years ago

    by A Fallen Angel

    So I like the way you wrote this poem. you write with your own style and it flows very well. I dont think you should put into stanzas... too many do that... inlcuding myself... and i think that if you tried to do that iwth this poem i wouldnt get the chills i did when i read it for the first time. i loved this poem. as i have mentioned before you are a very mature writer.

    A.

  • 16 years ago

    by Laura

    This is very well written! The flow felt interrupted at times but i thinkit was becuase the differetn syllable counts sometimes used.
    Ovwerall it was a great and enjoyable read!

    For the first two lines:
    Tears of blood you cry...
    tears of blood that wont die...

    maybe remove the word 'that'

    Also because of the length i think if you broke in down into verses it may be a lil easier to read. It was jammed packed with emotion that really grips the reader.

    Your unique style is refreshing!

  • 16 years ago

    by XxBrokenInsidexX

    I really like this poem out of the ones Ive read..
    I think I seem kinda attached to this one because this is kinda how I feel inside..trapped...and alone with fear. Im that little girl (Im more like a teen lol)
    The emotion was really strong && I really enjoyed it!

  • 16 years ago

    by Faithless Watermelon

    Excellent, but rhymes and maybe a little more rhythm could help it. i did absolutely love it though