Comments : Too Lost In You

  • 16 years ago

    by FridusBlueheaven

    This is very good poem, I can relate with what you wrote. Very well written. I really love this one and the title catches my eye. 5/5 from me!

  • 16 years ago

    by vintage darling

    Your feelings show well in this poem and it's very well written.

    great job :)

  • 16 years ago

    by lish

    This poem is awesome. i love the wording and the feeling in this one, keep it up
    xxo

  • 16 years ago

    by Melpomene

    This was a good piece but I didn't feel as much emotion expressed in this one like I did the last. It was a good poem but I just feel like you didn't have the chance to express yourself as much as you could have. None the less it was a good read. You like writing love poems I noticed which is always good to see. Well done. ~Mel

  • 16 years ago

    by SCARECROW

    It's such a sweet and romantic poem; honest and well expressed with really raw emotion.
    I love it, and I hope it does well in the contest!
    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Romantic Lover

    I have to say this wasn't as good as some of the others you wrote.

    Every words that comes out of your mouth - should be "word"

    "Makes me fall more in love with you
    Your words are soothing
    And always make me wait for more"

    Try changing your last line to something like - "Have me longing for more"

    You seem to expressing a message here, partially contradictory.

    "It hurts when you say no to me"

    but then you also say

    "You're very special to me
    And I'm happy to have you in my life"

    Contradiction is good but I think you could have expressed more. Love is a beautiful yet confusing feeling and sometimes it gets the best of us.

    I'm not a great writer, but just sharing some thoughts with you.

    Good luck on the contest.

  • 16 years ago

    by ihrtschlepper

    Awww!
    what's good about this poem is that many ppl can relate. you have a good voice and very high quality!

  • 16 years ago

    by BeautifulDisaster

    Amazing poem, i know exactly what you feel. this poem is written really well & flowed good. i loved it. 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Ashley

    I feel the same way..5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Cheshire Kat

    A little grammar mistakes here and there. "Words" in the first stanza and line should be "word" (I think)

    And...I think "yearn" would sound better than "wait". Whoever it's written to is lucky :)

  • 16 years ago

    by Crystal Gaze

    Amazing, Beautifully expressed.

    I especially liked this stanza..

    'Every word that comes out of your mouth
    Makes me fall more in love with you
    Your words are soothing
    Always wanting to hear more'

    ^ it reminded me of my feelings towards My Beloved.<3

    Keep It up:)
    --Elly.

  • 16 years ago

    by Lilly

    Very good i love it 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Blissful

    I can relate with the emotion of losing yourself in a person you love. I think the beginning was strong ... but it weakened as the poem went on. I do think that you described the emotion wonderfully. Well done.

  • 16 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    I like the depth and emotion in this piece, they are very easily felt by the reader.

    Your flow was okay for the most part, but could be a little better in some places..try eliminating the filler words (I, you, the etc) and you'll most likely find the flow is so much smoother.

    I love the ending, I thought that was beautifully done, really shows your love and compassion for the person you're writing about.

  • 16 years ago

    by Nikki

    I liked this. good job=))0

  • 16 years ago

    by L0V3 Mi fAMilY

    THANKS FOR THE POEM BABY! I LOVE U!