Join Me

I like this alot you should comment my poems

YUP, THIS DOES SOUND LIKE U MY PRINCESS.

"Join me to my view my life
I'm not a perfect girl
But I try to do my best
With all the decisions I make"

^^ Beautiful opening, so much emotion in those few lines that the reader can't help but be drawm right into the piece.

" try to make everyone around me happy
And I won't stop until they're happy

I consider myself lucky
To have these people in my life
They make me happy
And I know I'll always make them happy."

^^ I became kind of disinterested on this part..the constant use of "happy" completely spoiled the piece for me.

Try finding synonyms and you'll probably find this makes the piece so much better as it's the same meaning but using a variety of words to show this.

This was very cute.
I love the dedication to your son and fiancee.
The peice flowed nicely, and had a happy air about it.

Well done,
--Elaine.

Ur a terrific writer i love your poems 5/5