Keep Myself At Bay

I thought all my actions would be a cure,
thought that I would feel secure,
but you don't know the things I fight,
everything I try to keep inside.

I can't fulfill the promises to myself,
but I can put you in front of everything else,
and everytime it seems OK, all of it fades,
into nothing more than a mental escape.

Punishing myself is all I do,
so I turn away and act unmoved,
by the constant damage my mind inflicts,
upon a soul that seems unable to be fixed.

Just to hear your voice strikes a tone,
that I can't handle on my own,
though I'm smiling and appear alright,
I can't keep these feelings off my mind.

So I keep my thoughts to myself so tight,
never letting go of these things I hide,
all I want is for the pain to fade,
all I need is to keep myself at bay.