RAPE///STILL HERE BUT SUFFERING

Sometimes I wonder if I should talk to you,
would your crying explanations put me at ease?
Or will seeing your face squeeze me, choke me, like the way your hands were around my neck 4 years ago?
Would hearing your cry to me about how sorry you are for everything you've put me through make me somehow feel less pain?
Or will hearing you talk about it bring back the vivid images I want to erase forever and try to forget?
I would love to see you cry, I know you've been thinking about it for the past 4 years.
I can tell by the way you stare at me, watch me, as I walk by in the hallway.
Have you ever though about me suffering after everything you've put me through?
Just the thought of the pain I've gone through just to avoid seeing your face makes me want to run, cut, get out of my own body.
I hate feeling this way...dirty...I want to crawl out of my skin and not feel this pain.
I want to live without the image of you raping me to go away, I'm sick of it replaying in my head day after day.
...Please...Just...Go...Away...