Untitled. my favourite ive ever written.

My dreams have shattered without a word of explanation.
No words are said, I am silent in devastation.
These dreams held me close when I'd slip away
But now they lay massacred, so why should I stay?
Pale light lifts the clouds, revealing clear skies.
And I step out of the darkness, into my disguise.
There is no reason, no hypothesis, no plea
There is nothing you can do to save myself from me
If there be another road, alternate way, or path.
Please tell me these mistakes will be left to the past.

If I'd cry for help, would you push me on my knees?
Laugh and mock my attempts, ignoring my needs?
This danger in my mind, huddled deep inside
Will burst at a time when it'd be best I hide
I cant even recognize reflections through this glass..
Please someone tell me, how long will this pain last?

I am not the same, after each cut.. each line..
I am pleased when two meet and together combine
Each drop, each drip, runs away from my vein
Even the blood inside of me cannot live in such pain
It gathers on the floor, alongside these dreams
In a puddle of hatred, in a puddle of screams

The dense air chokes me, making me sick
Each cut moves clean, each tear drops quick.
The emptiness inside burns, so I ignite this thrill
And when the world resumes turning, I'm left standing still
I drop my disappointed head, shut my eyes, and cry
All I can feel is the sudden unbinding of these ties.

Scars, rips, rivers leading me far away
To a place of cold nights and agonizing day.
The sun sinks down, and the horizon brings night.
Along with it, it brings my struggle to win this constant fight
It tears at my lungs.. inside my heart weeps
Yet silence becomes the moment as the blade falls deep

Pushing you away, yet another stupid regret
The trust you've shown me, I conveniently forget.
I can honestly say I've never been this scared
A mirror looking past me, with it's empty stare.
At this person, this girl, so sad, so alone..
The story of each scar sends chills to her bones

I suffer from a sadness, so deceitful and bold
Each scar on my arm is just another story to be told
All I know of is feeling empty, lost, and used
Broken down inside, I lay in this abuse
Angry demons burying inside of me these things
Feeling like every move is like I'm on puppet strings
I feel like I am nothing of their expectations..
These dreams, they've shattered, without a word of explanation.

Nothing can erase the sins I have retraced
Nothing can ease the fault I’m forced to face
Nothing I've beheld has ever been so strong
Never have I suffered to this extent so long
Nothing has compared to the pain I've pushed aside
Nothing is as brutal as my heart's refusal to subside
Nothing is left, and of that nothing, I am made.
Nothing to hold me from my inevitable use of this blade
Once I thought I could fight, I was a dreamer, a believer.
I dreamed once of smiling through this demon, this deceiver.
My hope, though neglecting truth, gave me purpose not to die
But now I understand- truth lies in pain, and dreamers often lie.