They tell me to forgive you,
To try to move on, to heal.
They tell me just to talk to you, someday
I probably will.
But for now I think of your face, and all I see is shame
You're the one who tried to kill my mother, you're the one to blame.
It's not like there's an easy road, for a situation like this,
I wish I could just move on, I really wish I could forgive.
Somehow, though, it's not that easy,
My wounds are bleeding fresh, I cry myself to sleep at night,
But they tell me that you're blessed.
I'm sick of hearing these voices, they run around and around
Some tell me I'm thinking right, others remind me I almost laid my mother in the ground.
Some say that I should talk to you, some say they understand,
I really don't think anybody does, I don't think anybody can.
Every thing's all mixed inside, before, all was right,
How can I forget all of those years, it's not like this was the first night.
I wonder if anybody really knows, if anybody can feel my pain,
I'm not even sure if it's pain anymore, I'm so numb when I think of you,
I don't even want to forgive, I just want so bad to forget, but it's something nobody will let me do.
I just want to scream or cry, something just to show I care,
Nothing that you did
None of this is fair.
Is it OK for me to blame you? You're the one who tried
I'll never forget that night you called me, Mom,
I really thought you died.
Do you even care what you put me through?!
I doubt it, it's always all about you,
It's OK for you to preach and preach, about how suicide is wrong
When it's like you were planning this, plotting all along.
How many times?! Until you finally win,
What about your family here, what do we do then?
Can I hate you because you tried to kill my mom,
Even though when you look in the mirror it's her you see,
I don't see you anymore, Mom, not when I look at me.
I'm nothing like you, I hope you know,
I have more pride than that,
I tried so hard to pretend this didn't affect me,
But I just can no longer act.
You're my mother's attempted murderer, doesn't matter if you're my mother, too.
This is why I can't even look, let alone speak to you!
Just stop trying to say it's me, that makes you so down now,
Don't tell me that you're better,that you've turned things around...
I've heard it all before, and if I get close to you again,
You'll try it one more time and it'll break me,
Because next time I know you'll win.
