Beacon in the Dark

by Poetic Ninja aka Papachopchop   Jan 4, 2008


Eyes full of tears,
Soul full of fears,
Heart full of spears,
My hope dissapears.

With all I enjoyed,
My heart is destroyed,
Leaving behind,
A life that is void.

That fate of the world,
Has burned out my flame,
Leaving in it's wake,
A heart that is maimed.

You tell me not to love you,
But what can I do?
You are the one,
That I want to persue.

If it is it only,
for in moment in time,
Let me show you again,
How your heart can shine.

    report violation
0


Did You Like This Poem?

Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    I like the flow and the rhymes a lot, short lines in the stanzas made the whole piece truly powerful and effective. I could feel the emotions while I was reading this, and I can relate to it in a way. \
    Greatly written poem.
    My favorite stanza is:

    -That fate of the world,
    Has burned out my flame,
    Leaving in it's wake,
    A heart that is maimed.-

  • 16 years ago

    by Teria

    I have to disagree with the other commenter. I believe that the structure has great potential and it is fullfilled.
    Though, I do believe the lines are a bit short, they still have great emotion.
    I liked when you only had 3 lines rhyming instead of one, but the 4 wasn't bad either. Just a bit more together.
    The line that didn't rhyme kind of was like BOOM.

    You did a wonderful job, great emotion , flow, and all the above.

    Keepit up.
    5.5

More Poems By Poetic Ninja aka Papachopchop