A pill and a razor

Setting on my bed
Wallowing in thoughts of dread
The razor lying next to me
And the pills in my hand
My mother sets outside my room
Oblivious to my tortured soul
To her I'm just her son
Nothing more
I'm not a friend
I'm not anything than just a son
Today was fine until tonight
When I saw her face
And she yelled at me
She said I couldn't see you
And I started yelling back
Finally I gave up
And here I am
On my bed
Thinking of you
And how much I love you
Maybe somehow this will end
Without me being dead
I've tried so hard
To make it through
I'm sorry I have failed you
I'm sorry that I lied
I broke my promise
And for that I die
Someday you will see me though
And even if you're mad at me
I'll wrap my arms around you
I'll tell you that I've loved you
And it was never your fault.