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Sometimes I feel that I am not good enough for myself.
That I want to be a different person, one with life's wealth.
I feed on music that calms my insecurities.
I hunger to be the girl inside me.
I often feel sorry for myself and burst into tears.
As I sit, thinking of my life's nightmares over the years.
My tears flow from bad memories and choices.
Ones that I made blamed by other people's voices.
I seek out to help others but can not help me.
I am steadily trying to figure out who I want to be.
I dream of being the perfect human.
But I know that's not a possible fulfillment.
I cry because I don't know who I am.
I cry because no one seeks to help me find out.
I fear that I may live a dreadful life.
But dreaming the way I do will pay that price.
I listen to "Bruised" by Jack's Mannequin.
But I really need a "Holiday from Real".
I listen to those things and wonder.
If I will ever be as striking as thunder.
I am misunderstood and a crybaby.
I wish a knight in shining armor would save me.
For that I feel as if I am a hazard to my reflection.
But should be thinking of my life as a blessing.
My insides feel like the perfect shade of "Dark Blue".
I look at my twin in the mirror and tell her "I don't want to be you."
But I am her and I have to face it.
Though I wish I had a replacement.
For this hideous feeling I share with my self.
For wanting to be a person with life's wealth.
For reading too many romance novels.
Wishing I were the characters and that would solve my problems.
But it is the zodiac's cancer in me.
I am what I am and what I see.
But I wish to be the girl inside me that I feel.
For the person that feels is pure and real.
You look at me innocently with the eyes of a lost...
You whisper to me softly of how much of me you...
I dreamt of him again today. The same as every...
to be continued...
The gift of life is finally being received by me.
I'm learning all the wonders of its magnificently...
I feel so stupid, yet so relieved. I was too...
From the day I met you , screwing me was all you...
Crying over lost dreams and time's pain;my tears...
It's almost 3 a.m. and I'm still awake.Trembling...
After two years and too many lost loves to count..the passion i have for you still aches and hurts as if it happened only moments ago...
As i sit here and listen to slow song and think of you my heart aches because i know you're not thinking of me back...funny right?
As the wind blows no one knows, no one knows how her guilt grows, how her guilt grows no one knows, for she kills her pain with the thorns
of a rose.