I didn't want to get my hopes up. i didnt want to think that maybe things would be different this time. its so much worse because i knew from the beginning that i already put so much faith and hope into everything..

I hate being that girl. the one who was so hopeful that she'd be "the one"; who believed that nothing would hurt her. i tried so hard not to be that girl. i already knew .. that i would get hurt in the end. and even so, i couldn't stop ..

& somehow no matter how much i told you, no matter how much i kept reminding yuu; i guess you forgot that all i needed was to be by your side and that, that would have been enough.

Because " i miss yuu " still slips from my lips without me noticing it ..

& the worst part was that yuu promised, and i believed yuu ..

Because even though all i want is for you to be happy, i can't stop crying. my heart really hurts ..

So why do yuu get to have those butterflies feeling again and i get numb heart ? im not jealous of yur ability to fall in love, im hurt that it's not with me anymore ..

& even thou i knew from the beginning that id probaly get hurt, i wanted to believe in yuu, to open my heart up again. now here I am with tears down my cheeks watching yuu smile with someone else by yur side

Because even i had hopes of walking down the isle one day. i wanted to be the bribe instead of being the maid of honor. how can i when all love ever done is betray me? how can i fall in love again ..

Lying to yourself, telling yourself continuously that he was happy without you by his side ... when it actually happened, it shudn't have hurt right? so i dont know why, before i even knew it, i was already crying ..