I will ignore you so hard you will start to doubt your own existence.

The distance between us doesn't matter, because in the end, i know we'll both be happy in each others arms. Forever.

To handle yourself, use your head, To handle others, use your heart.

A strong person stands up for themselves. But a stronger person stands up for others.

Don't expect to find the right person if you aren't willing to let the wrong one go.

I added a tuxedo to my disaster supply kit ... I want to look like the most important person to save.

I like scrolling through my apps really fast. It feels like the big wheel on the "price is right"

If the minimum wage is good enough for all Americans, then that's how much Congress should make as well.

Whoever determined that a 1-inch candy bar should be called "fun sized" should really re-evaluate their standards for entertainment.

It's so cold out this morning I seen two gang bangers with their pants pulled up.