A "C" means Completed.
-Kevin

He has suffered brain damage. His d--- no longer works.
-Alex

Avoid looking stupid. Stick with BS.

Free love - with 5 proofs of purchase & a mail in rebate...
- Joanna's t-shirt

Your magic carpet ride gave me rug burn.

Circular logic: the kind with no loose ends.
-J.D.

Do you like plums?
I like plums.

The sound of your voice reminds me that I have ears.
-Kat

Are y'all dead? Good, cos I really don't have time to go to a funeral.
-MM

There's been a stabbing, you got a camera?
-Jason