Winners July/30/2012 (Monday) CONGRATS :D

LaLa..such a week guys we had a 4 way tie! So congratulations for those who've made it to the front page, and hats off for the H'Ms! Great poetry!

Tie breaks along with comments are added.
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Votes:
_____

Circadian
by Xanthe 7+10

No Matter
by Poet on the Piano. 10+ a tie's vote

Tonight, I'll sleep outside
by Lebanese Phoenix 10+a tie's vote

H'Ms:
____

Confirmed Creation 10
by Tara Kay

Destiny Hopes
by Poet on the Piano 10

Women like us
by Yaki 7

Germaine
by Xanthe 7+4

Maybe I'll Write a Winner
by Chelsey

Parchment On A Castle Wall 7
by Meme AKA Ms Rhyme

Flitting Dreams 4
by Britt

Sometimes a mind suffers poetry-ache
by The Poetess 4

Dragonfly Whispers
by Naughtymouse 4

Fractured smile
by Naughtymouse 4

__________
COMMENTS
___________

Circadian
by Xanthe

The opening line to this poem really can make a person tell this poem is going to be brilliantly written. I loved the thought of dreams being left under the pillow by dawn, pretty way to word, we remember our dreams when we wake up. I loved the analogy used here: "Time slips quietly out the back door -
like an unfaithful husband leaving me" . This poem was so heart breakingly sad about a person feeling forever alone, but on a poetry level, this was seriously well written.

-----

I find this poem a powerful and heartfelt interpretation of how it feels to be locked into some routine that you just can't break free from. Circadian, a perfect title, the poet goes through the motions of this routine every day so much that it feels natural. I enjoy the repetition of the idea in "I don't know/understand why, but it's become routine", but perhaps those two lines should match? It'd make more sense to me that way.

Overall, I find this a touching poem. As dark and bleak as things may seem, and as unimportant as some things may seem in the gray of this routine, keep your chin up! Great work

***********************

No Matter
by Poet on the Piano.

'MarryAnne,

I believe your poetry is one of the most visionary, sentimental arts I have ever stumbled upon. Poignant beginnings that capture one's mind in no time, subtle descriptions, simple language, novel similes and much more at every ending. I feel as though this speak was meant to depict something deep-seated inside of me yet I couldn't portray it with words, simple as yours.

I love the use of 'submissive' when picturing the night and how it felt to me so long and heavy, I believe the night is just a metaphor out there to describe something more real and less faraway. Night can be anything gloomy. And a tone could symbolise a ray of hope or a bunch of memories.
The second stanza is just magic. I could repeat it over and over again and it won't lose its meaning. I could imagine what you have put here. The scorching seats is such a clever simile. I love the vocabulary, only that I feel you could use something more poetic than just 'sat' and 'hard', etc. I like it when I learn new words from poetry, not that I'm telling you to shove long expressions into every line where it's not needed or well-placed, but you could still make the poem more interesting with some risk. I understand that you want to keep it simple in this piece, considering its meaning and soft atmosphere, yet I feel I would've enjoyed it in that way. I wasn't too keen on the 'captured in the greys of a memory' bit. I feel it's not quite a good way to connect the first stanzas with the rest. Anyway, this beauty:

'I wish to combine
days we ran through
secret meadows for us,
on black and white keys
with sunflower's disposition
that speak something of the
new unknown'

It's so rare that I love a statement too much that I can't let go of it but here I do, it made the whole poem for me. The meadows, black and white keys and the sunflower's disposition...and finally the unknown. I'm just speechless. I will only assume you meant that an old memory has been retaken or someone from the past has come back to you by the 'new unknown'. How you connected the past 'meadows, flowers' with the present.

The next stanza is just bitter. What I got from drafting sand-prints, notes swimming in ink (i.e. filled with her words) and the trains a very nostagic image. I love trains and all the subjects you mentioned there, when I see such concrete imagery in a poem, I start to fall in love with it. And I guess I have read your poem for so many times and I'm not over it yet. Seriously captivating.

'prose-like words make
your eyes

indecipherable.'

I'll learn this by heart and keep it on my PC. I could quote it forever.
I feel I'm just rambling here and I only want to let you know how much I loved this.
Also loved the repetition of 'no matter'.

Well-done.

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No matter [Tie breaker]

This poem was stunning. I found myself enchanted by your memories and it was almost as though they were a dream and I was simply your eyes. The word 'submissive' was a nice touch, it's not often used in poetry, I myself have never used it and after reading it in your work I had to ask myself why. I was fond of 'sand-prints', "swimming in ink" and "sunflower's disposition" these had a soft nature to them and definitely added to the longing tone of the piece. Beautiful work.

****************

Tonight I'll sleep outside
by Lebanese Phoenix

"Yet I could tell,
by the way fear unbuttoned his chest
in the passenger seat,
puffed up his cigarette,
then rolled down the window,
that my heart was still there;"

This stanza was one of the best personified stanza's I've read in such a long time. It made the whole poem amazing to me. That was just brilliant
I loved the ending to this piece. I loved the mother sticking a note on the window telling you to sleep outside, when in the beginning that's what you planned on doing. Not returning. The story like tone to this piece left me wanting more, but the details and sadness behind this made me love it!

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Tonight, I Will Sleep Outside [Tie breaker]

I think, what caught my attention the most about this piece
was how raw it was..if I didn't know better I would think
It had been part of a conversation..I can hear this poem in my head
so clearly. The emotion is just so hitting..this looks like spoken word..
I absolutely loved it. Way to go this time Abed. Brilliant write.

________________________________H'MS

Confirmed Creation
by Tara Kay

I've read this poem over many, many, times and I still go back to find more interpretations.

When I first read this poem it made me feel as if the author was talking about a person with a mental disorder. The word usage is just a wonderful display of imagery.

The metaphoric design leaves me going in many directions, which is why I love this piece so much. I'm thinking it's deeper, on a more personal level... and with that interpretation I will just say... when a writer needs to pour out their heart, the pen finds a way to elegantly display the wording in a pleasant and delightful form....Bravo!!!

I love poems that make me think.... Beautiful poem!! Well Done Tara Kay

*********************

Parchment On A Castle Wall
by Meme AKA Ms Rhyme

Be still my heart-

This poem made me feel as if the woman is so in love and yet she feels doomed from past heartbreak and I could feel the aching heart throughout this beautiful and yet sad piece.

The word usage was elegant and it made me feel a touch of old English word usage, and yet it really wasn't.... Its just the feeling I got , while reading it...several times. The ending grabbed me the most-

"Oh my love, you once
vowed to free me, but I
think I sentenced our
fates to an inescapable
doom. I plead for your
forgiveness now, and for
that heart of yours to
just love-me-not."

^^^^ WOW

Very emotional piece!! Well Done Meme AKA Ms Rhyme

***********************

Destiny Hopes~ by Poet on the Piano

Oh my dear...I love the message in this piece! We choose our destiny! Your word choice here just blew me away..."baffled" "musings" "gossamer" "scintillating" love it all!

"upon fire stones of the soul."
^what a great line! I read through this slow, concentrating on each word and just cherishing it all. Love it more each time I read it.

You truly have a way with words.

**********************

Flitting Dreams
by Britt

I really love this poem.... The author has written a poem, in my interpretation, of the bird representing a person's conscious. Its inspiring and uplifting message is very intense, and a joy to read.

I love the metaphoric message within this piece, from start to finish.

"He'll create
a dream within you,
the kind
you never thought
possible, the ones
never allowed
to be dreamt."

this stanza, is just beautiful......

All in all, this piece is wonderful, Well Done Britt

**********************

Maybe I'll Write a Winner
by Chelsey

-Clogged arteries, painful, congested. A good metaphor for writer's block, describing how sometimes a poet(ess)'s emotions can seemingly run dry of anything useful for a poem. It's a harsh and difficult feeling that we've all had to deal with.

"I cannot make up illusions
that haven't been envisioned,
nor speak life that
hasn't been pursued, but
maybe tonight I'll write a winner
Convincing others I'm a dreamer too"

-The poetess writes only from past experience, but not from made up experiences or lines daydreamed up as others do. The poet hopes tonight, she can concoct something new for her, something that shows she too can dream.

"If I sprinkle glitter on metaphorical lines,
light lanterns around personified names,
perhaps eyes will glisten in awe
at fictional ideas I portray

Bodies of guilty stanzas
fall dormant on plush pages
The same way my spine
descends on my bed at noon"
-Ha. A metaphor about writing metaphors! How quaint. Glitter, making your words shine and shimmer. Words that shine, and give luster to names that mean nothing to you, but are given a new life by these words. I believe that by describing the stanzas as "guilty" the poetess means to describe how these words are untrue, and hold no real meaning to her. Dormant, lifeless, unmoving similar to the way she may fall, exasperatedly around noon, worn out from a day that's hardly over.

"If only I could insert
words of wisdom and facts,
Or whisper romantic scenes
My poem will touch the readers
and drift off in the hands of another

Maybe tonight, I will find strength
in new words provided by,
a dusty, neglected thesaurus
Creating a new piece
much more abstract than this."
-Envious of other people's abilities to make their poems mean something to someone else. You want to write a poem that will express how you feel, how you need to express yourself. But in writing about how to do so, you've created a poem that should deeply touch a chord in every poets heart.

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Dragonfly Whispers
by Naughtymouse

I remember when i was very young,
i was told of a secret,
to make a wish come true
go find a special creature

No, not a unicorn or a
mythical fawn out of reach,
a simple little messenger
hiding in plain sight

"if you whisper to a dragon fly,
they'll take it high in the sky.
and whisper back your wish to the gods
and your dream, if unselfish..... will come true"

*********************

Germaine
by Xanthe

The feeling I get after reading this is so dark and chilly...love it! It has so many layers that the more I read it, the more new things I discover. When I read the first two lines, I was like "oh boy, I hope this isn't a clich���©d piece like most that contain Mona Lisa" but you proved me wrong! This was just out of this world amazing!

" went home with rain and nostalgia
woven carelessly through tainted tresses."
^The imagery here is truly exceptional, just like the rest of the piece. But these two lines stuck out to me the most. I love your use of "nostalgia" and "tresses" It just blends so nicely together as well as with the overall feel of the poem.

Loved this, well done!

*******************
' Women like us
by Yaki

I think you have a gem here. I could sense so much sadness along with your usual confidence and strong attitude which is a very successful combination in poetry for my part. It was raw, sincere and subjective. I love how you titled/began it with 'women like us', and keep repeating it all throughout the piece. It intrigued me, made me curious to read. You didn't just write off an ordinary title like...poetesses or so.

I love the way I felt as though you were talking about mothers and their unconditional love, then you surprised me in the middle. I was deeply saddened, however, by the suffocating bit, it was like we aren't used to such kind of pure love and we have so much of it until we can't take it anymore and we choke with it.

'we are in constant need of a broken
heart, or else our art will starve'

So true. So loved it.
I have to be honest and say that I was distracted by some unneeded lines. But it was worth it in the end because the message is just too true to be true. =P
The trampoline image is perfectly well-done! When kids are jumping on a trampoline, they feel joy and so is when someone has so many people to love. But then those kids jump, fall then stand up and move on, we just give up and feel hopeless instead.

'but the truth is,
we're selfish women.
so selfish its almost selfless..

..almost.'

This ending made perfect sense to me.
Wow.
But I really only have a problem with punctuation. Other than that, I'm left wordless here.

Beautful work!'

******************

Fractured Smile
by Naughtymouse

I think dark poetry is often overlooked because of its depressing, almost scary tone it can have. But this poem really "wowed" me for being a dark piece. So many metaphors, and just extremely well worded and well organized thoughts flowed from this piece from beginning to end. I also noticed the use of words that you don't often see in poetry. Sometimes on this site the same words or style is created , but this wording made it unique and so interesting. Strangely enough, I loved this! I don't usually go for dark pieces, but this was excellent.

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Sometimes a mind suffers poetry-ache
by The Poetess

Brilliant! One of my favorite pieces about a homeland. I could just feel the longing and love you hold for Syria. It was evident in every word you penned.

"in the slumber of stars that skulked
a sulk around their skulls."
^ such great alliteration! Also a nice tongue twister...trying saying that 10 times fast : ) This holds so much power just on its own.

Ms Sunshine,
if I have missed anything, please PM me.

Congrats winners :)

Thanks for the HM judge!

Congrats guys awwwwwwesome write by everyone.....thanks nana epic as always ;-). And thanks judges for the hm and the wonderful thing about my own piece really i am honoured big loves x

Thank you judges and Nana!! And congrats to Xanthe and Abed and all the HM's!

Great job everyone :]

Congrats to alk the winners and HMs
Thank you forHM and the great comment, the poem is actually about finding out you are pregnant and battling with yourself on what to do...for the father is no longer with you and the situation being difficult.

Thanks Nana and judges

Excellent writes, awesome picks by our judges, and congratulations to the winners.

Congrats and thanks!

Congrats guys! And thanks a lot for the HM. I really appreciate that comment, ya I was going for the old English atmosphere without using old words :-)

Thanks judges, and congrats all, from Xanthe and MaryAnne to all HM's :)

And Nana should be blown by a kiss also ... xxx... those are 3 ;)

I'm confused with the voting this week. Xanthe's poem Germaine got a 7+4 = 11 so why did two poems, each with 10 votes that had to be decided by a tie break judge win?

I noticed this, too! Something is wrong!

Ah? What happened, you ask? What happened is that all went to hell in the last few hours before the winners were posted automatically by the site, my friends. Needed a sub sudge, sub sudge accepted but we lost contact with them, found another sub judge, had to break a 4 way tie, etc etc.
It would all have been more manageable had it happened earlier on in the week, but it didn't. It happened 3am Monday PST.

This is why I think we should have 3 judges, not 5. It's too many cooks in one kitchen, and the fruit is getting screwy.

How is it that something happens every week? Did that judge that needed a sub not let you guys know til last minute?

No that judge told me before time, and the mods found a sub judge, who didn't let us know earlier that they won't be able to do it or something, cause personally I never heard anything from them yet.
I still don't know what happened with them (the sub I mean)

however...I agree with Jane. 3 judges would make this much better.

Congrats everyone...

In my opinion, things got out of control and we really need to start another thread with the names of volunteers, only volunteers and we start nominate as usual. We pick 3 judges who are willing to do this damn judging thingy without bailing out on us or dropping out.
That's the only solution. Things are such a mess now, people who are supposed to win are being un-recognised.

THAT'S IT. Meh.

Perhaps we simply stop getting sub judges. So long as we have at least 3 minimum, if someone cannot participate, we let it go to the remaining 3 or 4 judges.

As a second course of action, we can halt the tie breakers. So long as the votes turned in to Nana match the recorded votes, let it go as it will. The site will pick the winner. There are times when the judges miscast votes, whereupon Nana can add points as needed & let the mods know what's going on.

^^ I like that Larry

I always liked the site choosing the winner.

If "3" judges can save those mistakes, then... that is also cool... though we have argued about that...

I'm with Larry...

I think this is the second time it's happened to Xanthe...

Congrats to the Winner's and HM's!!!

Xanthe congrats on your poem too :D

Nana you're beautiful. (inside and although I haven't seen the outside of you yet, I am sure you're smokin hot :P)

x

Believe me, Liz, her outside is beautiful-er ;)

Hehehe Aboudi thank you <3 always kind and nice!

and you're so sweet liz :) really...

I'm still not understanding this? If the site chose the winners this week why didn't Germaine go through with 11 points and why, out of the 4 poems in the tie break, the system picked the two poems that the tiebreak judges commented on?

I am confused, too :/

The site has not been choosing. We have been using tie breakers.
The above error happened because everything was rushed. Amazed we were as successful as we were to find the last minute sub and the 2 tie breakers within hours, and in the middle of the night.
Our sub for the sub sent us her votes and comments but I think accidentally didn't give her vote to Xanthe's poem, so it didn't get on the front page.
Thinking another tie breaker was needed, a volunteer gave points/a comment to another poem.
I woke up from sleep specifically to check if the original sub had voted, then spent an hour trying to find someone on the site to cover for them. Mel took over so I could sleep, but at that point it was 7am on Tuesday in Australia and she was heading to Uni.

These regular mistakes are not due to lack of effort by Nana or the mods.
I like Larry's ideas.

^^^ awww you get up from sleep for this?? You guys are really dedicated, I'll be damned if I had to get up to check the site contest due to peoples lack of commitment..Thats doing an awful lot!....still sweet of you though,

So glad we are in favor for Larrys idea! :)

What happened is that all went to hell in the last few hours before the winners were posted automatically by the site, my friends.

^^^^^

I'm sorry...I must have misunderstood your previous statement above Jane....I thought this mean the site had automatically chosen the winners this week...that's what confused me. Thanks for clearing it up.

Oh ok, my bad. I did word that weirdly. What I meant is that if we didn't step in at the last minute, the site would've picked winners and broken ties on its own. It wouldn't be the end of the world if that happened, but up to this point we have tried to make sure the winners on the front page are chosen by humans (seems more fair, but a lot more work).

Yes Chelsey, I had anxiety about it, woke up, and had to check before I could fall back asleep lol. Good thing I did!

There are times when the judges miscast votes, whereupon Nana can add points as needed & let the mods know what's going on.

^^^^

Can someone explain what this statement by Larry means? I don't understand it.

I guess he meant when a judge chooses a poem and accidently forgets to vote, Nana can vote for them. & notify the mods afterwards.
But that needs commitement. The judges should PM Nana their comments and votes on Sunday, in the morning. Not before 3 or 4 hours of the winners announcement.
I don't know.
I guess the whole tie-breaker thought is wrong. So confusing and only caused problems so far. Let the site choose the winners. It won't conspire or be unfair. Really. I have no idea why people voted against that (including myself).

I don't want to speculate so maybe we should let one of the mods answer this so we get a clear picture of what was actually meant.

Ah, sorry. I thought you said 'someone', not 'some mod'. You're welcome!

Sorry....didn't mean to sound rude...just want to know how it works.

Bumping...sorry...feel this may have got lost unanswered?

Due to the randomization of the contest nomination list a new judge occasionally hits 'back' to vote for a poem without realizing he/she is not being returned to the location of the poem they are reading. They mis-cast the vote on the poem now in that position.
There are also occasions where Noura's scenario occur.
The host must compare the votes/comments of the judges with the votes registered on the poems. If there is a discrepancy she votes to make certain the judges' selections are met.

So....Germaine with a 7+4 should have won but some randomization (not human error as was previously mentioned) still should have won?

Week before...3 poems sat on 14 points...two went through..no tie break points were added...no tie break comments...yeah...ramdomization my ass!

You took a word totally out of context a & twisted it to imply that I said what I did not.

Human error caused all the problems we've been having. The fact that the list randomly resorts is merely one contributing factor. Too many hands in the stew has been the greatest problem, IMO, and we hope to eliminate that by staying out of it.

I don't know whether you were here when we discussed this issue a while back. A vote was taken whether to allow the site to break ties or a human. Humans won by a heavy majority. The mods broke ties until issues of favoritism arose. Then we looked for individuals to do so. The process led to so many mistakes that it is obvious human tie breaking is not working.
Hence, starting this week the site reverts to tie breaking & only Nana is responsible to see that the votes cast by judges are those they meant to cast.

What word was that??? Maybe randomization ??