March 28th Weekly Results!

So sorry for posting a day late, I was about to yesterday and got unexpected family news (good stuff!) but it pulled me away to make arrangements and holy chaos! ;) Here we are, enough of my excuses!!

And your winners are........!

Wake Up by Poetess
Inure by Formidable Muse
Pendulum Swings in the Darkness by Rob

Congrats, winners & HM's!!

Inure
by Formidable Muse

"I love how peaceful this poem reads. The images all seem very relaxing: walking barefoot, following a trail, the whole gypsy feel. The whole structure seems floating and I love the imagery. Sometimes the enjambment seems very unnatural though, this would be my only remark about the poem. I feel like I have to catch my breath at odd places sometimes even though the poem's imagery gives me a good-flowing, floaty feel. But other than that I loved the story, how things went from good times to bad times, and how everything was wrapped together by including the heart and the changed fingertips. This was nicely thought-out." (10)

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Inure
by Formidable Muse

This lady opens her heart with such detail and emotion, but each line is so elegant that it all wraps into such a graceful piece! Just beautiful!! (4)

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Wake up by Poetess (10)

loved how this author portrayed herself as the same individual she is referring to.......A lost love, a relationship of hurt and pain, a yearning of wanting to communicate to said likeness.......a truly magnificent piece.

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Beautifully written but heartbreaking. There is so much emotion in this poem- the bitterness, sadness, fear- it feels somewhat inappropriate to comment on something so raw... Hope is powerful, don't give up on things. (10)

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Pendulum Swings in the Darkness by Rob

(4)

what a great dark , morbid write, I thought I was reading a scene from the walking dead or something....I'm still hiding under the covers, shivering......nicely done

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This poem by Rob, is dark and seductive! A delightful read this week.

Rob has a wonderful flow and rhythm to his rhyme pattern and yet it also has a unique flare to it!

I love how this poem starts off, unraveling secrets and twisted darkness as the poem unfolds... It reminds me of a lost love yearned for, dying from her twisted darkness... the nature tones are just an added uniqueness to this poem..

I really love the ending.... it just brings the tension and sadness home! well done Rob!! (10)

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When I set out to judge I don't mean to pick holes. But I feel I need to justify a lower score and my 4 point choice usually takes the brunt. Despite only receiving 4 points this poem was my third pick out of all the nominations. It is a lovely piece of atmospheric story telling.
Very dark and very descriptive.
It is also a comma fest.
It is also grammatically correct. A comma at the end of each line, a capital letter begins each new line.
However I feel it detracts from the poem.
Ironically there is a comma missing in line 4 and line 20. Possibly line 26.
If you are going to use them, then use them all.
Personally I prefer to bin them. (I would probably bin the last line as well.)
So I am scoring this 4 points for the narrative and imagery. 4 points.

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HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Tears from blind eyes by Ben Pickard 7 points.

Nearly a 10 for me, just a touch choppy for top marks in my most humble opinion.
There is some fantastic imagery scattered in this piece that makes for very interesting reading.

clouded and haggard jellies
that have already.....seen too much.

^This bit I love, although I am almost certain that we should only be using three of these'...' (Ellipsis)
(Four can be used but not at the end of a sentence.)

I am also not sure that the very last line is needed, line one (plus the title) points to blindness.
It could quite as easily ended with:

Tears were never clearer than when
they sprang from this broken lady.

The touch of choppiness, for me, is found in the last three lines.

I would be tempted to rewrite as:

Tears were never clearer when
sprang from this broken lady.

These gripes aside you cannot ignore the fantastic story telling in this piece. 7 points

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A Soldier's Frosty Field
by Ben Pickard

If this wonderful and powerful poem doesn't make you cry than you are a rock!

Such a heart gutting piece by Ben this week... He has a way to grab the reader within his rhyme patterns and then when you add the message... it just brings it home! (7)

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Heart Inflamed (two English sestets segueing into syntuit) by Larry Chamberlain 10 points

When I first offered my services as a judge many terms ago, I set myself some basic rules. The most important one I set myself was not to award points to a poem that was nominated the week before. I have a cut off point of one week. So if I am judging on a Friday I only go back as far as the previous Friday. I have also never awarded points to the same poem twice, until now.
I relegated Larry's poem from 10 points to 7 last week because the form was off, this has been fixed. So now I am awarding this poem 10 points. I am not sure whether this is in the rules or not to score the same poem two weeks consecutively. It certainly breaks my own.
As I said last week this poem is excellent, I have read all nominated poems tonight and for me this is still the best of the bunch. 10 points.

Heart Inflamed (two English sestets segueing into syntuit)
by Larry Chamberlin the Godfather

Brilliant poem. The form seems rather complicated with the rhyme scheme and syllable count. There are a few lines with more than 8 syllables:

Unquenched fire under a deluge = 9 syllables
the fever burns out of control = 7 syllables
Tongues of fire lick at heated ice = 9 syllables
night manifests through swollen eyes = 9 syllables
this room lends no resilience = 7 syllables
light rejects even the threshold = 7 syllables
which you crossed as all had foretold = 10 syllables

I feel like the syllables do affect having the form laid out as two English sestets because they aren't meeting the form requirements.

...But also, that doesn't affect how the poem is read as a poem. The poem tells a story and portrays an image rather nicely. The vocabulary is very consistent in using complexity that flows well. If I were to read this as something without form tacked onto the name, I would be blown away by the poem itself. It is a wonderful write. (4)

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Keep sailing....7 ....Ben Picard

I struggled immensely with the 3 line, (second stanza), and the constant reference to first person, but even still, few can write an English sonnet like Ben....Terrific job.

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Two Hands
by Yakari Gabriel

Every stanza elicits power. There is so much strength in this poem. And so my depth and trial behind it. It's really rather brilliant.

My only critique is for the line: "I been at the mercy of someone else"
I think taking away the "I been" and leaving it at "at the mercy of someone else" would give it an easier flow. Especially reading it out loud.

I feel like this poem would be wonderful as spoken word. I'm sure it would hit a lot of people on personal, relate-able levels. (7)

"The emotive response any reader would get from this piece should already be enough to win points. This fragile yet strong poem full of honesty really tug at the heartstrings and takes the reader on a journey of emotions. Of course there's more to this poem than only its emotions. I picked it for its creativity as well, there are some noteworthy lines such as "these two things are not synonyms when she can't see life without me" or the last two stanzas. My only remark would be that this poem seems even more powerful (and more meant to be) spoken out loud, yet the enjambment does not reflect this. But this does not take away from how easily this poem is understood." (4)

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Enigma
by Shane

"I'll have to admit that upon the first few reads, the poem seems a bit hard to swallow due to its diction (mainly in the first stanza). Yet there were enough verbs to keep the dynamics of the poem going and this carefully chosen set of words actually started to reflect this very succinct state of consciousness to me. I imagine the persona to be going through the crowd, watching his own every (mis)step.

But I still have to say that the following stanzas are personally more attractive to me because they shy away from the abstract and seem to include some more emotive details and honest lines. "I haven't seen you so genuinely happy since", which is a very simple line, somehow seemed just right in between all the heavy descriptions of the surroundings. Following by this list of small memories, with contrasting but meaningful glimpses such as "pillow fights" and "early morning arguments" really elevated the poem to a more personal level. I really appreciated how more honesty shined through the poem till the very end. Well done." (7)

For Mr. Larry's poem I counted:

Unquenched fire under a deluge = 8 syllables
the fever burns out of control = 8 syllables
Tongues of fire lick at heated ice = 8 syllables
night manifests through swollen eyes = 8 syllables
this room lends no resilience = 7 syllables
light rejects even the threshold = 8 syllables
which you crossed as all had foretold = 8 syllables

Judge: Where did you get 10 syllables on the last one? Did you used a syllable counter in the internet?

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Here is almost the entire poem with the syllable count according to how I would count it.

Unquenched fire under a deluge; = 8 syllables
pouring cool love onto hot coal = 8 syllables
has not provided a refuge, = 8 syllables
the fever burns out of control, = 8 syllables
desire leads to conflagration, = 8 syllables
even cold hands sear sensation. = 8 syllables

Tongues of fire lick at heated ice, = 8 syllables
as, consumed within brilliance, = 7 syllables
night manifests through swollen eyes; = 8 syllables
this room lends no resilience, = 7 syllables
light rejects even the threshold, 8 syllables
which you crossed as all had foretold - 8 syllables

brilliance is two syllables as per the dictionary:
http://www.dictionary.com/browse/brilliance?s=t

Resilience has three syllables as per the dictionary.
On the other hand, Resiliency has four syllables.
http://www.dictionary.com/browse/resiliency?s=t

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I'm surprised Ben's sonnet didn't get more votes.

Thank you, judges, for your awesome volunteerism and hard work!! I failed to mention this in the main post in my hurry to get results up!!

Well done to the three wonderful winners this week. Can I just say, like Truce before it, Wake Up is as personal and touching a poem you could wish to read - a wonderful write.
Thank you very much to the judges for their wonderful comments and suggestions on my poems; it's very big of you considering my misplaced comments a couple of weeks ago, so thanks again, truly.
Another great week. Take care everyone,
Ben

Everlasting, actually "resilience" has 4 syllables, but that depends on who you ask, however most English professors agree that it is four......re-sil-i-ence

How many syllables are in resilience? 4 syllables

Divide resilience into syllables: re-sil-i-ence

the pronunciation is the key, many syllable dictionaries say three and many say four......so poetic, could be either or......lmao

Every line highlighted by the judge has eight syllables, in my opinion, but my opinion only comes from how it's viewed in England. Words like 'fire' are tricky as many people think it is two, but certainly in England it only has one so an extra count can come from different countries' interpretations. Certainly, from an English point, as above, I believe every line to have 8. Words like "resilience" and "brilliance" are tricky too. The former has 4, the latter 3 - but again, that's in England. Syllable counting can be subjective, depending on where you are from! But as the judge mentioned, it is a wonderful piece of poetry either way.

All the very best

Wow. I definitely was not expecting to even be nominated. Thank you for the comments. I did write this about my brother, who was in a motorcycle accident. He is recovering, but he (and the family) has a long road ahead of him.

Again, thank you for the nomination, and comments.
And congrats to the winners and HMs!

Bob, lol are you an English Professor? Or how many English Professors did you asked?

I prefer to go by the dictionary. "English is crazy". That's what my ESL teacher used to tell me when I was learning English.

Congrats, everyone!! Thank you judges and Britt for posting :)

Actually I asked three, one from U of Penn, and two from Lock haven university, all three say 4.......now when I asked three friends of mine that are published writers, 2 said 3, and 1 said 4..........and the one who said four, said "it's all how you pronounce it, properly pronounced it's 4, the american lazy (lmao, what she said) pronunciation is 3....

Interesting, Bob.

Haha I go with those professors who said 3 syllables just because of this (don't know what to call it ... I should probably call it bad logic)) ... But just because "fire" is one syllable but when I pronounce it, it sounds like two yet I still know is one syllable.

Question, does anyone know a link to a dictionary from UK?

By the way, congrats winners.

Congrats winners and hms!

Thank you judges for the wonderful and insightful comments on my poem; also for all the hard work and time you dedicate weekly, I know that it's a hard job. And thanks Britt for the results. (:

Congrats Winners and HM's!

Thank you judges for all your work and time and thank you Britt for hosting :)

Yes English is crazy and it also depends on the country you are coming from on how the syllabus is counted. Dictionary is the safest thing to go by when it comes to syllabus, then again it also depends on the outlook of each country.

Congrats to all.

My two pence worth on syllables and Larry's poem,

I think Larry would have counted the syllables in those two words how he pronounces them.

just a theory

Darren, I agree.

Darren, I agree.

My main concern is not exactly in whether those two words are two or three or four syllables.... its not much of a big deal as the number of syllables can be either or. However, just like Meena said its safest to go by the dictionary.

My main concern is in the judge who gave a four to Mr. Larry's poem, Where did the ten syllables come from? Was it a typo? What syllable site counter was the judge using? That way people will know better not to use that site or to the very least double check the syllables. Because ten in my opinion is a biggy. Lol

Un-quenched- fire- un-der- a- del-uge = 8 syllables
the- fe-ver- burns- out- of- con-trol = 8 syllables
Tongues- of- fire- lick- at- hea-ted- ice = 8 syllables
as,- con-sumed- with-in- bril-li-ance, = 8 syllables
night- man-i-fests- through- swol-len- eyes = 8 syllables
this- room- lends- no- re-si-li-ence = 8 syllables
light- re-jects- e-ven- the- thre-shold = 8 syllables
which- you- crossed- as- all- had- fore-told = 8 syllables

I thank the judges for their comments and I thank everyone for being spirited enough to discuss the issue. Thanks to Luce & Michael for nominating my poem and to Bob and especially Luce for her potent penchant for precision. It's a rare site that people will have strong opinions about syllable count. I feel fortunate to be among fellow geeks. In other words, I am obsessive over syllable count and I find that dictionaries and syllable counters tend to be worthless. If you cannot count syllables by speaking out loud, stay home. That being said, everyone is entitled to their own opinion:

[Note on the following: this site cannot display the schwa, the upside down "e" that represents an unstressed obscure vowel; I've had to substitute "i" for the schwa.]

4 syllables
/ri.zil.e.ins/
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/resilience

ri-zil-yuh ns, -zil-ee-uh ns
http://www.dictionary.com/browse/resilience

3 syllables
re-sil-ience (ri-zil' yins)
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/resilience

re-sil-ience \ri-'zil-yin(t)s\
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/resilience

2 syllables
/ri' zilyins/
http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/us/definition/american_english/resilience

What I find fascinating is, knowing how particular I am, no one asked why in the world I would use words like brilliance and resilience despite the ambiguity of their syllable count.

What I also have to note is that I am still the site leader in losing every tie I have ever been in, over ten now. I am the Rodney Dangerfield of tie breakers.

That's got to be eating at you a little bit, Larry. At least enough to keep count ;)

It does seem to defy the odds, lol

Aggravating, yes. But more like my dog digging more holes under the fence than like my cat getting bitten by another possum.

Actually I know it's been several times but I don't know how many.

What I also have to note is that I am still the site leader in losing every tie I have ever been in, over ten now. I am the Rodney Dangerfield of tie breakers.

^it's the trump appeal, they like you a helluva lot, wish they could be you, but envy will pick tails every time......

and resilience, vs. brilliance are apples and oranges, the ie and ia, are totally different ...one is stressed, the other has a vowel reduction.....but I'm fine with either one, I never was good at latin, where most words originate from........I wonde if you would win a tie breaker if you wrote a sonnet about your site name......lmao, have a good weekend

Challenge accepted

;8-)'

Ohhhh

I'm looking forward to the outcome

Challenge accepted

^that's why you're the leader

I put it up for a day & deleted it - terrible poem

Oh it did not appeared on my news feed.

You are uncommonly lucky