Weekly Contest Winners - May 20, 2019!

  • Poet on the Piano
    4 years ago

    Hi, all! This week covers many themes and spans many emotions. With Ben's heartbreaking piece, "Her Milk Was Sour", we feel the grief drip off of the pages. Michael's touching Rondeau in "Harmony" dreams of a world where one can be free, where everywhere and everyone is safe. Last but not least is our tie-breaking poem, and also Someone Invisible's first win! "None of them are you" is lyrical and uses soft imagery of this love and nature to express the power of this love's presence. Congrats to all of our HM's! Wonderful work this week and thank you to our judges, for your time and commitment. Take care, everybody :)

    -MA

    __________________________

    RESULTS:

    "Her Milk Was Sour" by: Ben Pickard 10 + 10 + 7 = 27 points

    "Harmony (Rondeau)" by: Michael 10 + 7 + 7 = 24 points

    "None of them are you" by: Someone invisible 10 + Tie Breaker vote

    ______________________________

    COMMENTS:

    "Her Milk Was Sour" by: Ben Pickard

    "This poem to me is perfection on a grand scale. With every word and line working together in total synchronicity. It's like the writer has an inbuilt ability to wring every ounce of juice and feeling from each word and pull it all together with superb rhyme and meter. A master of words who entices the senses, tickles the imagination and makes me want to keep reading this poem over and over again. For me the golden bar of poetry." (10)

    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    "Ben's poem this week is sad. Basically if his lot in life is such then just let him live it. It is also written beautifully. His rhyming is spot on, the piece flows so smoothly that I didn't want it to end. It reminded me a bit of a Edward Arlington Robinson's piece, dark, hard scrabbled, always a struggle to see the light. Ben attacks this rhyming head on which lends to how smooth it flows, nothing feels forced or jammed in there and because of that he gets my 10 points this week!" (10)

    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    "Examining how the poet complains about the discrepancies of the world, shows that things are not the way they should be. Stanzas such as: “If the sun shines down above my head, But never lights the road, Then let me live in black instead And keep my dank abode.”

    If there is a purpose for light is that it is supposed to brighten the roads, and shows us the ways. So the poem is brimful if depicting these kinds of discrepancies by the use or ~If & Let ~ kind of technique.

    The poem like all the works of Ben is written masterfully: Language and the use of sublime words, and breath-taking imageries. It is about depression. It is another beautiful way of saying if the world is such this and that, I do not want it and…

    But in every step of describing the dilemma of life, the poet exposes his writing skill, by going to the ultimate incongruity between the elements because he wants to go to the end. Every stanza is refurbished like this and shows the malleability of the poet that by using such command on language to depict something that every man experiences." (7)

    _______________________

    "Harmony (Rondeau)" by: Michael

    "I chose this poem because of its meaning, how as humanity together deep down this is what we truly want to believe in because as corrupt as this world can be there's still some hope out there somewhere. This is why it was chosen as my top pick, not only that it is relatable, beautifully-crafted and simply the most beautiful poem I have ever read. Thank you so much for creating a beautiful timeless poem that will live forever in the hearts of whoever reads this!" (10)

    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    "Michael 's poem this week is a lovely thought of a beautiful world where we all live in harmony and actually get along. Then he ups the ante by making it a Rondeau to boot! For someone who never formally wrote before joining this site he has excelled in many different forms of poetry. This particular form he really shines in. I love the sentiment he is conveying. It truly would be glorious to be able to live like that. Keep positive Michael and keep writing!" (7)

    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    "From start to finish this brings everything to the page that I love about poetry. Excellent imagery well rhymed with a strong message and underlying hint of humour. "I'd walk the hills and hug a tree and dance around so merrily" definitely made me smile. Wouldn't it be wonderful if hugging a tree could make this world a better place? I think back in the eighties there were quite a few tree huggers that did manage to save some of our trees at least. In a World where nature is being destroyed for the greed of the few it is the majority that will suffer in the end. Still this piece reminds us that there is still hope if we can mentor our children in the ways of peace and harmony. Maybe one day we can return this once tranquil world to its former glory. This poem is superbly written and a pleasure to read." (7)

    ______________________________________

    "None of them are you" by: Someone invisible

    "There were many poems this week that painted images of such depth in love and beauty. I read this piece a couple of times, to absorb the way in which the author describes her language with metaphors for love.

    A piece that has been penned with emotion and how love is displayed for us to read. There is so much content that I could pick out and go through, in terms of how a writer can describe their feelings of love for another.

    The author uses metaphors, with a little twist of the unusual (in my mind anyway). How they have written, using images comparing their journey’s and what they encounter, then convert these images to how they are reminded of a loved one. Admittedly it is a long piece, and repetition of words, however, I feel this poem has been written how it should be!

    I think this is a beautiful piece. Very well done." (10)

    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    (Tie Breaker comment)

    "Reading the title, I thought this is another typical love poem. I fell in the trap of knowing the book from its 'cover' misconception. I was wrong. Each new line was taking me with the poet's trip from road to road, from face to face; I could literally visualize every line using my imagination, I went on my own trip. I could feel the writer's emotions, nostalgia, and suffering. The poem was special with its powerful structuring too. It's a very credible piece, I could believe every word; the lines were vibrant with feelings! I am in love with this poem."

  • Poet on the Piano
    4 years ago, updated 4 years ago

    HM's:

    "Empty papers" by: naaz = 10 points

    "Betwixt" by: Vince Gullaci = 7 points

    "You and me" by: The poet behind the poem = 7 points

    "A Mile in My Shoes" by: Scott Cole = 4 points

    "A tiny piece of Zen" by: Milly Hayward = 4 points

    "Habits" by: Tanya Southey = 4 points

    "The Difference Between You and Me" by: Brittany Ottmo = 4 points

    "Under the Sun" by: Maple Tree = 4 points

    _________________________________

    COMMENTS:

    "Empty papers" by: naaz

    "The poem starts with: “I am a moonlight lover,?but I do not like my coffee black.”

    It seems great that night is compared with coffee, but the moon does not contribute to the darkness if nothing it is like cream in the coffee.

    The poetical “Riptides of bad habits” that “have stained the glass of dignity” makes her too weary to escape…the burden of those stained glasses!

    The third stanza somehow repeating the poetical prop or cliché s that poets usually use them to design their verses. But there really is not much purpose in them, Like ; “Bless me with the colors of sunshine” Lost in…, let me hear them… and all of those dandy and good things.

    In the next stanza, the poet wants to come out of the grief. S/he lets the ashes go in the river. Though the only confession acts as the flow of the river. It will wash, and embrace the burdens you burned.

    The interesting thing is that the narrator in this piece uses different addressees, and use them if they are the same. They shapeshift rapidly: My old friends…,” but is it the same friend: “Bless me with the colours of sunshine, Free my mind,”? Actually, it is a little hard to get the head around the fact that all these addresses are the same person.

    In the end, the poet asks her friend to search for her in the blank, but the line that she draws do not connect the blank to eternity directly; it only twists in between by somehow putting eternity and blank against each other, not vice versa, and treating them like antitheses. This, of course, would be a categorical mistake.

    This poem has traces of genius-ness that yet the poet has not to learn to handle. But you can see if she wants, and discipline her talent she is going really far." (10)

    __________________________________________

    "Betwixt" by: Vince Gullaci

    "While this poem is short, it is one of the few poems that sum up what humanity is because its either sink or swim and this poem was crafted nicely to show what side you can take and what's left to do in the middle grounds. Life is basically what we make of it. We can laugh because there's joy in our lives or we can scream because of the Injustice that there is in this world. But like the poem said, compromise and meet in the middle. Well written and congratulations, you summed up what life is." (7)

    ________________________________

    "You and me" by: The poet behind the poem

    “ You and me” such simplicity with such a title, but it shows in the content of this piece, how simple someone conveys a message of love for their partner to be.

    So lovely to read a personal account of love dedicated to their very special person in their life. This really brought me a beautiful message. The image of such happiness and joy. The author flows their pen with a depth of emotion and such loyalty in their feelings. It is like the ‘honeymoon period’ has continued in their life, and the joy of marrying this person will then go on. I like the simple way this has been constructed, and easy to read and take in.

    A true delight to read, and I would like to wish you all the best for your future together. Well done." (7)

    __________________________________

    "A Mile in My Shoes" by: Scott Cole

    "This poem shows how each of us have our own challenges and roads to walk in life and how those challenges help form the people that we will ultimately become. It also brings up the point that unless you have walked those same often difficult roads you are not in a position to make judgement or understand fully what has brought that person to that juncture. Certainly that old adage don't judge a book by it's cover also comes to play here too. Empathy and walking in another's shoes does make for a more kinder World." (4)

    ________________________________

    "A tiny piece of Zen" by: Milly Hayward

    "A title that holds the word ‘Zen’ I could feel the calm and tranquillity straight off. I wasn’t disappointed!

    The writer paints a scene of serenity and beauty, all the while in a nice rhythmic beat. A picture of a place, that may well be part of their meditation (perhaps?). I felt a calmness as I read through this piece, and I wanted it to go on for a while longer in truth! Also, the writers' affinity with mother nature is without question. The ending was gentle too, although back to the ‘mundane’ there is a sense of feeling relaxed, and grounded.

    A lovely and divine piece. Well done." (4)

    _______________________________

    "Habits" by: Tanya Southey

    "I do love her addictions! Good food, lots of books, lovely music playing, to name a few. Her wants are few and if she can achieve this her life will be complete. Maybe if we all took a page from her book of life we would be happier and more content. Stop, smell the sea air, watch the sun set, feel the wind, read a good book, just enjoy the moment you are in." (4)

    ____________________________________

    "The Difference Between You and Me" by: Brittany Ottmo

    "This poem touches something deep inside of me and makes you want to see the other side of what humans are capable of. Nobody should grow up scared of anything and no one should be hurt as a child, so as a whole we should help each other build each other up to never let anyone tear us down. An emotional poem that is so compounding to read." (4)

    ________________________________

    "Under the Sun" by: Maple Tree

    "She is still drowning and the “rain drops slowly …” Is she drowning in the wetness of the rains while she is riding against the thunder? Or is she already drowning and the pouring rain, perhaps tears, are devouring the remains?

    The trees are mossy. The irony is that the awesome forget-me-not blooms, even, want not to be remembered, they: “refuse
    to be born again.”

    The visual image of dangling: “dangling memories I'll never live to tell”, is the trademark of Andrea’s works. She sees the memories are dangling, perhaps because they haven’t been tolled, revealed their messages, bare their fruits, and evidently, they would keep on dangling until they reveal all their says. Though here seems it is not the case here and they never would.

    This poem is very sad, but the sadness tries to hide behind the nature category.

    The sadness reveals itself from the second half. Maple cannot hide it, even in her nature poems, She is still a mother, having her child between her teeth. She runs: “crossed meadows of earthbound tragedies and nothing can stand” in her way.

    This is the grief of a lioness queen that her lion-ness has come to its knees, because, love is the most fearsome of all. She sees herself powerlessness; all her strength cannot make an ailment to go away. So she instead, walks the earth by her heart. Because a mother love cannot stand still while the child is at risk." (4)

  • Star
    4 years ago, updated 4 years ago

    Congratulations everyone really beautiful poetry this week!!!

    Thank you judges and MA for your time :)

  • Maple Tree
    4 years ago

    thank you judge, hugs you!

    Congratulations everyone!

  • Brenda
    4 years ago

    Congratulations to all the front page winners and HM's! So many beautiful poems on the boards! Thank you Mary Anne for hosting and our judges for judging.

  • Ben Pickard
    4 years ago

    Firstly, thank you to the three judges for their time and lovely comments on my poem. Secondly, thanks to Scott Cole for nominating it and lastly, well done to the other winners and all the hms this week.

  • The Poet Behind The Poems replied to Ben Pickard
    4 years ago

    Ben you really did knock the ball out the park this week all the poems this week were wonderful but man you nailed it..

    Congrats guys

  • Larry Chamberlin
    4 years ago

    Congrats to the winners (Ben beats the records of wins, his own record). Good work to the HMs. Thanks, judges & MA.

  • Mr. Darcy
    4 years ago

    Well done and thank you to everyone for another superb week of poetry. *raucous applause*

  • Michael
    4 years ago

    Hi all :)

    Thanks to MaryAnne for hosting a great intro.

    Congratulations to Ben and Someone Invisible, with which I share the front page this week. Also to all the HMs awarded.

    Thank you to all the judges for their time each week.
    Thank you to the judges for their votes and lovely comments on my poem, so very much appreciated (one in particular that knows my roots here on PnQ, thank you).
    and thank you to Dagmar for my nomination.

    Much love, M :)x

  • Meena Krish replied to Michael
    4 years ago

    Congrats to the front page winners and all those who received a HM
    Thank you judges for your time and thank you for hosting MA!

  • Milly Hayward
    4 years ago

    (Sorry for the delay accidently posted on the wrong week)

    Congratulations to all the winners and HMs and big thank you to all the judges, moderators and last minute tiebreaker who selflessly gave up their time to make this competition possible. On a personal note thank you to Poet behind the piano for nominating my poem "A little piece of Zen and for the judge that voted for it. Really glad it managed to share some peace and tranquillity. Milly x

  • naaz
    4 years ago

    Congratulations!

    Mods, Judges thanks a lot for giving 10. For all the suggestions.

    Love you all!