Weekly Contest Winners - June 17, 2019!

Hi, all!

Such an exciting week for poetry! Steph has her first front page win with her piece, "Things to tell my 18-year-old self", that is brimming with wisdom, pain and an important message of self-love. Next is Jamie's piece "Weary", a haunting piece speaking of one's demons, remembering another and mourning perhaps what was simpler times, where there wasn't such a tangible heaviness to life. And finally, three poems had 10 points this week, highlighted was Dagmar's "Various Results", Daniel's "Two Footprints in the Sand", and POTP's "Bassie". We had a member read all three poems and break the tie. "Bassie" was chosen and comments are below. I'd also like to mention we have another piece by Jamie highlighted as an HM, and a great return from poets who haven't written in awhile like: Yakari, Andrew Packard, Milo... welcome back :)

Congrats to all and thank you to the judges, for your time and dedication!

- MA

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WINNERS:

"Things to tell my 18-year-old self"
by: Steph 10 + 7 + 7 = 24 points

"Weary"
by: Jamie 10 + 4 = 14 points

Tiebreaker (between Dagmar's "Various Results", Daniel's "Two Footprints in the Sand" and POTP's "Bassie)

"Bassie"
by: Poet on the Piano 10 + 4 = 14 points

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COMMENTS:

"Things to tell my 18-year-old self" by: Steph

"Oh the wisdom of age! The things we see after the fact that we are unable to see clearly when we are in the trenches. You have survived so much and fought to be where you are today. Something to be very proud of! Hindsight is 20-20 they say, I'm glad you can look at your past and realize it's in the past and you have this amazing life to grow and thrive into." (10)

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"One of the most important aspects of a poem is its angle. This is also right about so many other things. In poetry, if you put your eyes in the right place you will find a lot of aspects that have not been introduced to other’s eyes.

Here Steph has found such an angle to describe a very crucial experience of life. A more mature version of a person, she, woman, tries to justify the world and the experiences ahead for her 18 years old version of herself. She shows her, how ironic the world is: “Don't give your heart to just anyone.~ After your first love,…” “Some of your closest family won't be blood. ~Your blood will shame you,…” and gives you warnings: “And you'll fall back, Sewing your heart onto the sleeve Of his least favourite jacket.”

She lets herself know that she must love herself first. Love takes time… also all variety of things. But this long poetry uses the opportunity that the comparison has given her to see through a deep melancholic aspect of life. That we are not here to win or get everything that we want. We just learn to deal with IT, with the problems: “He'll give you the freedom to be yourself,

And you'll do the same.” And through all these, she teaches herself to deal with the irony of life through accepting the sense of melancholy as an inevitable fact." (7)

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"I love how some poets will write about their pasts because they can see how much they have changed from who they once were, and can see how better off they are now that they got their life different, learning from their mistakes. I truly do believe as teenagers we sometimes fall for the wrong people because we just want to be held, like it says in the poem. It's amazing how you changed your life around and I truly hope that the person in the end will never burden you with his burden and if he does, I hope he helps you deal with your own and not make it worse. Thank you for the great read!" (7)

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"Weary" by: Jamie

"The gloom as described in this poem is not that heavy but how it is described feels incurable.
Haha the poem starts with the Marlboro (commercial ;)).

It is so dark so perhaps the poet is sitting somewhere dark, looking at a view of something that includes at least partially, the sky: “The northern skyline looks …” But the descriptiveness is so powerful, it is more like poetical prose, such as Ernest Hemingway’s works: the hawkish temperature~ adumbral remembrances~ an insomniacs alibi ~ skyline looks like death~ eerie gloom blankets the horizon~ and then: “another starless night with an
empty moon- typical. Raven feathers”

There is more poetical imagery here than enough for a few poems.

The poem though, regardless of the sophistication of imagery, happens in a very simple setting. The poet is depressed. The desperation is not something new: “grow weary of writing inane suicide Notes”

They take the depression to the deeper level, capered by the demons, for they see how the demons captured the world. But they have learned the exorcism through their writing. Through their writings they challenge the demons of the world that glued them inside like dinosaurs DNA." (10)

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"Jamie always writes with brutal honesty and it is always something I've always admired about their pieces. They weave this piece visually, I almost felt like I was standing next to them, smelling the cigarette smoke, shivering from the chill of the night. Heading inside there is more visible damage from the ripped screen door to the splintered bedroom door. Some place you should be able to go to feel safe but are unable to. They write of demons and lost love, longing for earlier days but knows they are gone. Thank you for sharing so much of you!" (4)

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"Bassie" by: POTP

"As I am reading this poem, to the end my own dog came to me and wanted to be petted. It actually is wonderful to have a dog is it not? They are man's best friend, there to embrace us when we want to be alone, annoy the hell out of us because who can deal with all the barking? As human beings sometimes all the therapy we truly need is of the four legged variety. I will admit that as a teenager we face many hardships and then it becomes harder when we realize sometimes we have mental hiccups to give us something else to deal with, but we will always have comfort from our pets. No matter what type of animal it is, just talking to someone who doesn't talk but lick your face and makes you laugh is worth the slobber." (10)

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Tie-breaker comment:

"Poems about dogs tend to follow cliched patterns: noble creature, loyal and protective, and the like. Bassie likely has all of these traits, but he is no cliche. This dog is obnoxious, a barker and destroys the back yard, but he is a savior above all. The depth of appreciation and insightful devotion for her dog comes across clearer than imaginable." (4)

HM's:

"Two Footprints in the Sand" by: Daniel = 10 points

"Various results" by: Dagmar Wilson = 10 points

"Facing East (for Larry's dream travel contest)" by: CJ Maleney = 7 points

"Primordial" by Andrew Packard = 7 points

"Wasteland of you and me (story rd)" by: Milo = 7 points

"April Second (Etheree)" by: Jamie = 4 points

"Eyes" by: [M(/)U] = 4 points

"Still missing you" by: Yakari Gabriel = 4 points

"Worthlessness" by: Larry Chamberlin = 4 points

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COMMENTS:

"Two Footprints in the Sand" by: Daniel

"I so enjoyed the story here, along with how the writer has laid their poem out. Short verses, with commas in the right place (for me anyway) and breaks used well. For this tale is one to read at a slow pace to capture the emotion behind it.

The story of a man off to sea, and the perils and plight of storms he may encounter, and his loved one at home left with the worry if her sailor will return unscathed. The sound of ‘rain’ tapping at the window, brings fear, along with the hope that her loved one will survive the treacherous conditions.

The author has used their pen with a soft tone, albeit a story of fear, so to speak. It made think of all the fishermen that risk their lives at sea, but could also be anyone who faces the sea in their lives. The title ‘Two footprints in the sand’ left me to wonder if they are left from the one saying farewell or as they wait for their beloved to return!? Only the writer knows.

A lovely piece of writing that captured my heart in some way. Very well done indeed." (10)

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"Various results" by: Dagmar Wilson

"An interesting piece like different colors splashed across the wall/canvas. The writer/painter wants to capture something that is in her mind yet its somehow various
thoughts crisscross making the end result something totally different. Just like this write, its like I’m inside the thought process of the writer. A good read with vivid images." (10)

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"Facing East (for Larry's dream travel contest)" by: CJ Maleney

"A hopeful write which also admits the wrongs done but is willing to take that chance and move forward and be happy with whatever comes. The rhyme and flow of the read is smooth which makes this poem a lovely one to read!" (7)

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"Primordial" by Andrew Packard

"Andrew's poem this week spoke to me in a very primal way. The universe was created, it was beautiful, it was innocent. We had it all but we too were capable of destroying all of it. We hate, we pollute, destroying everything good, everything pure. Begs the question, were we ever without sin?" (7)

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"Wasteland of you and me (story rd)" by: Milo

"I read through this piece a couple of times and must say I really enjoyed the story. Although in a few places it could do with a slight tidy up, however this does not detract from such a beautiful story. I do find ‘short stories’ a joy to read. I am intrigued as to where authors think up their material!

I felt taken through a time long ago where the author chases their love through medieval times. Their journey captures some wonderful imagery and imagination.
And to the end, the author states they are their ‘heart is tired of running and chasing’ giving me the impression that the author just simply cannot find the love they seek. A wonderful tale told of one's journey and their search for someone special. Great job and well done." (7)

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"April Second (Etheree)" by: Jamie

"The description here is so beautiful. Like a perfect picture: the “Red hoodies,” “the rickety
porch benches lit by a lightbulbs final glow”

The use of the word final gives the imager another notch. So as “Contagious laughter"

The poem finishes with the most breath-taking imagery: “scintillating stars that look
majestic painted with April's new moon.”

Putting the April’s new moon that empowers the sky give the stars their glow like it is painting them." (4)

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"Eyes" by: [M(/)U]

"A nice little stanza of encouragement for someone who lifted the writer with hope, who now has lost it. The writer gently points out all the goodness in this person and is willing to be there throughout no matter how long it takes. I like the subtle rhymes and the flow...a nice read." (4)

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"Still missing you" by: Yakari Gabriel

"Oh God, what can I say about this poem? Besides of course I can relate to it in a way, and I am a masochist for remembering what's-his-name. I love how you just have to hate remembering the past to keep moving on and accepting that sometimes you just have to deal with the past to kick it out of your life. One day you won't remember him or what he meant to you and that will be the day that you will truly be free and I wish you the best. Loved it!" (4)

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"Worthlessness" by: Larry Chamberlin

"When I read this short-formed piece of writing, it really did hit me with a thud! How the author has chosen their words, delivers such an impact on the reader. This style of poetry has to be written in such a way and clever I may add to say so much in such little words. There is far more beyond these words, that tells of a much bigger picture. The sheer weight of the title is complimented with the structure of words. How the author uses ‘your’ is a powerful opening, and then using a small metaphor of ‘pin prick’ gives a huge feeling of how someone’s ‘scorn’ can be worse than more ‘devastating’ than their ‘anger!’ A clever and powerful piece, all said in very few words. Nicely penned." (4)

Some great poetry all round this week. Congratulations to everyone and to the judges for their time.

Congrats all and thanks judges for the awesome comments.

Congratulations to all the front page winners and HM's! So much diversity in all our poets! Thank you Mary Anne for hosting and all our judges and mods for all the behind the scenes grind.

Ok. But the poem was about a girl.

Xoxo

Hi all :)

Congratulations to all the winning poets this week, including all HMs awarded
Thank you the judges for their time.

Much love, M :)

ROFLMAO
I wish Janis gave us emotis !

Congratulations to the winners and other HMs. Thanks to Meena for nominating Worthless.
Thanks, judges and thanks MA for hosting.

On a side note. We could use a few more volunteers to break ties.

Thanks to the judges for their time, as ever. Congratulations to the winners! A week full of diverse and strong poetry all around.

well done everyone. some cracking stuff as always.

thanks to the judge who voted on my poem and as always thanks to all our judges and moderators for their hard work.

Wanted to say my thanks to the judges for their comments and congrats to all! Hope everyone has an awesome week.