quick and stupid limericks

  • Darren
    5 years ago

    I'd like to see some of your worst limericks, (is there any other types?)

    Quick Rule, must include your name or screen name.

    Post below if bored enough

    here's mine

    Daft Darren

    There was once this idiot called Darren
    his head contents were quite barren
    he picked a fight
    lost badly outright
    ended up on a slab for Sathyavagiswaran

    ****
    have fun and I hope you are all safe and well.

    Reply

  • Kiko
    5 years ago, updated 5 years ago

    There once was a poet called Kiko.
    Last seen, he was in Puerto Rico.
    He was there many years,
    And drank too many beers.
    And now he's off taking a leak-o.

    Reply

  • Darren replied to Larry Chamberlin
    5 years ago, updated 5 years ago

    Well done Kiko and Larry.
    These are great

    Reply

  • Hellon
    5 years ago, updated 5 years ago

    there once was a Scots wench named Hellon
    who drank much vodi-infused watermelon
    staggering to the Clyde for to pee
    she was caught trying to flee
    now she's a hung-over convicted felon.

    Reply

  • Darren replied to Hellon
    5 years ago

    love this Hellon

    Reply

  • Hellon
    5 years ago, updated 5 years ago

    It's best not to encourage me Darren lol!!!!

    Hellon balked as she looked at her fine
    she said, judge surely this can't be mine?
    I was drunk can't you see
    and it was only a pee
    he ignored me the humourless swine!

    Reply

  • BOB GALLO
    5 years ago

    Very refreshing Darren

    Reply

  • Hellon replied to BOB GALLO
    5 years ago, updated 5 years ago

    Refreshing?..I told the judge so
    but I owed so I couldn't yet go
    so I ordered some wine
    once more feeling fine
    now me bladder is on overflow.

    I DID warn you all!!!

    Reply

  • Darren replied to Hellon
    5 years ago

    To be fair you didn't take much encouragement, these are great Hellon

    Reply

  • nouriguess replied to Hellon
    5 years ago

    Hahahah, Hellon! I like it!!

    Reply

  • Everlasting
    5 years ago, updated 5 years ago

    I remember, like it was yesterday, a lady named Lucero L
    She was once a skinny babe, a total charismatic belle
    One fine morning her step daughter excitedly said
    “Am I having another sibling!!?” But instead,
    Lucero replied, “Oh no!” While rubbing her belly slow, “I’m just fat as hell”

    Kids, right?! Lol

    Reply

  • Darren replied to Everlasting
    5 years ago

    That's great Luce

    Yeah kids are good for that.

    Bless them

    Reply

  • BOB GALLO replied to Everlasting
    5 years ago, updated 5 years ago

    :) :)

    Reply

  • Kiko
    5 years ago

    Here's one in the Scottish tradition (slightly vulgar).

    I once had a neighbor called Eric,
    Who'd gone daft and bought an old parrot.
    He went in for a kiss,
    But the target, he missed.
    And it landed on that parrot's carrot.

    Reply

  • Larry Chamberlin
    5 years ago

    Strange, my limerick disappeared?

    Reply

  • Darren replied to Larry Chamberlin
    5 years ago

    ??!!

    that is strange.

    where has it gone?

    Reply

  • Everlasting replied to Darren
    5 years ago

    I was under the impression that Larry deleted it. So now it seems he didn’t. That’s a mystery. Then what happened to his poem?

    Hellon, haha please keep writing.

    Reply

  • Hellon
    5 years ago

    True, Larry's limerick has now gone amiss

    I know I read it while having that piss

    before the shit hit the fan

    and I legged it and ran

    seems we've both ended in some kind of abyss

    Reply

  • Kiko
    5 years ago, updated 5 years ago

    Larry's poem disappeared with his hair.
    To Australia they went on a dare.
    They chugged whisky with Hellon,
    Who was pissin' and yellin'
    And gave those two outlaws a scare.

    Reply

  • Hellon replied to Kiko
    5 years ago

    Larry came to visit that is true

    and upon some fat we did chew

    we drank whisky galore

    till he fell the floor

    Now I'm awaiting a visit from you

    Reply

  • Kiko
    5 years ago, updated 5 years ago

    I'll come to your desolate land down under,
    The next time, in hell, it snows and it thunders.
    My boat never will dock
    Alongside dingoes and crocs,
    And pirates that pillage and plunder.

    Reply
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