No ones's laughing !!

Here are two jokes .neither of which are very funny ;

Q. What do you get when you cross a long drug habbit, a quick temper and a gun ?

A. Two life terms for murder .

Q.What do you get when you cross two nations states , a large limited liability corporation , 40 tons of poision and atleast 8,000 dead human beings ?

A. Retirement with full pay and benefits.

I was reading a article in magazine regarding socio-economic conditions when came across these jokes.They are funny yet reveals irony of modern laws.

--chavii--

What do you call a Boomerang that doesn't come back?...

A stick.

What do you call a 3 legged donkey?...

A Wonkey.

Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkly?...

Because if they were small, white and round they'd be asprins.

Stoopid but i LOVE them!

Lv A, x

What is brown and sticky?

A stick.

what do u get when u cross an animal and an insect? bugs bunny

A man was driving a black truck. His lights were not on the moon was not out . how did he see the old woman cross the street?

Some jokes for the older, beer drinkers (that's not me but I do like these)

... Oh was I swerving? Here officer hold my beer while I find my license.

Beer: helping people have sex since 1845
(or whatever date it was)

Beer : Keeping him the best looking boyfriend you've ever had.

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

Ok, well I think that's enough alcohol jokes for a while... ewww lol :P

old but still funny..

while we're in the alcohol jokes mode...

Occifer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

^^ I almost had the T-shirt with that one written on it. (minus the 'occifer' , though it's a nice touch! hehe) Gotta heart the classic ones :P

Last night I dreamt I ate a 10lb marshmallow... when i woke up. The pillow was gone.

*actual laugh*

Lv A, x

LOllllll u guys r amazing ,jokes just cracked me up :-))

Here is few more ;

What animals are on legal documents?
Seals!

What kind of hair do oceans have?
Wavy!

What do you mean by telling everyone that I'm an idiot?
I'm sorry, I didn't know it was supposed to be a secret!

LA LA LA LA LA LA LLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side
Did you think it was funny?
Neither did he the shops were shut!

Ok, so... This is more because one of my friends just said this, and it reminded me of this question/suppose to be funny joke.

Why do people always say it's the last place they look?
After you find it, are you really going to keep looking?!?!

Well that cured my boredom for a few seconds...

kk rite its quite long bt i fink its hilarious!!
A guy walks into a bar with 3 ducks
he buys a pint then goes to the toilet so the bartender starts a converstaion with the first duck
"hi" he says, "whats your name and what have you been doing today?" the first duck replys, "my name's dewey and ive just been in and out of puddles all day" so the bartender asks the same question to the second duck and it replys "my name's lewey and ive just been in and out of puddles all day" so the bartender turns to the last duck and says "and i guess you names huey?" to which the last duck said "no, my name's puddles and don't even ASK about my day!!!!!

hahahahahahaha

Wow i should show these to my business law teacher cause he tells the worst jokes. like...

Why don't seagulls fly over the bay?

Cause they'd be bagels.

Stuff like that which isn't funny but he's funny enough so we laugh at him lol.