Who wants Criticism?

Acia,

I am writing this here, because you have left no ID for Private messaging.

Please let me know whether you got my Comments on your work "Wounded". I had really written a lot about it and I had worked for writing it too, but I could not see it there. If you rewrite "Wounded", please do not forget to PM me.

Bert,

I will do it, but you will have to give me a couple of days.

No rush, whenever you get the time. It'll be greatly received.

Goth,

Your poems are done. Please pay attention to details and language. You have good emotional depth and great thorught process.

If you do not mind could you please go thtough and criticise on my poems

"My Languid Loneliness"
"Victim".

Also, I would like to tell you that both of our writing has the same style of expression. Our languge speaks and trumpets...... we need to find the strength of the whispers and the gentle caress of words.

Uh. ho. Goth,

Sorry man! I see that you have already commented on my works. I saw it while reading a new comment.

Sorry for troubling you again, I am really bad at Tracking.

please do mine i could od with this.

Misery hurts

Girl of the wind

thank you this means alot xxx alex xxx

could you do these for me?

Nightmare
Closer and Closer

any others you wanna look at, go ahead... i know i have some better ones in there somewhere.. thanks i will appreciate the criticism!

can you please do: "hidden world"
and "our life" Thankyou
oh..and can you please write everything in the comment of the poem..cause i might not find this thread again..thnx

Hello everyone! I am new here! I have posted a poem with the title ' Your memories ' in the sad, depression category.

I have been writing for 17 years on since 12. I would really like to improve my writing and I would appreciate your votes and criticism on this in any perspective.

Thankyou everyone! And I will keep coming back.
Kamal from Sydney, Australia

Could you please check out anyone of mine that you like. I appreciate your comments you commented on one of mine before. I think that your comment helped me out. thank you. Also I believe you said that I needed to broaden my vocabulary. Do you have any suggestions without the task being tedious? Thank you again.

Letty

Karma Hope,

Your poems are done. Take more time to get the right words that express what you feel.

Can you comment on my poems
"My Languid Loneliness"
"Victim"
??

Letty,

Please leave a title. I am very bad at tracking and I Will probably endup commenting the same poem that I have already done.

Also, please be patient Letty... I have a long list pending and it will take time for me to reach you.

About improving vocabulary, try building your vocabulary by, say 2 words every day or subscribe to a zine. These are the ones that I think will not be quite tedious, or else simply read through articles that have complex words and try to derive the meaning of the words.

Bert,

Those nature poems took my breath away. I have commented on them, please view them in the spirit they are intended. They were not intended to find wrongs in your excellent works.

Also, a thousand thanks for your comments on my poems.. Of course, I completely agree with your comments and also I have written them around 3 years before when I had just begun studying english.

I want to ask one more favour of you. Can you please comment on my work "My Languid Loneliness" too. ??

Also, Welcome to My Favourites Bert.

The problems faced in flow and word choice in Autumnal Joy are difficult in nature as there is a rigid meter and rhyme scheme to follow within the sonnet structure.

The second use of notice within Subtleties of Latitude has been brought to my attention before and so I think I'll have to address it. I think it is a matter of punctuation more than anything else though. I'll have to experiment with a few different revisions.

I'll be looking closely at every piece of advice and critisism you've given and take them onboard.

Hey, I'm quite new here and I would greatly appreciate some comments and constructive criticism. My poems are extremely varied and I'm not sure which are the best, so it might be best if you were to go onto my profile and just pick and choose some randoms. I'd be glad to have a look at some of yours in return, thanks.
Much love
x

Sarah, Life is a nice poem. To my understanding, it is about the relationship between the child and mother. I couldn't grab the idea in the beginning, but read it two more times to grip it. The ending is also quite fulfilling. Nice one!

It actually reminded me of a poem i wrote on the same topic. I would appreciate your comments on my poem as well called 'The circle of life'. I invite others as well to comment and criticise my poem.
Thankyou!

Sarah, Thankyou for reading mine...
Yes, you are right...it more fits into the mother nature theme.

Well...keep writing!

could you do:
Spiders Inside
and
Never Eternity

ty- be honest plz

To All,

I will do the poems listed in this thread, but please be patient. I have a long list and it will take time to get to the end of it. Whoever has posted until now can expect my comments by next Weekend.

Girlie Goo,

Your poems are done. AS I have said, my suggestions may not be relative anymore as you have asked me to comment on quite earlier poems of yours. The main lacking I found was the logical conception of the vision. As I have pointed out in "Girl of the wind", please see that the vision is continuous to the reader.

You have written so may poems. Can you please comment on my works "My Languid Loneliness" and "Victim" by the use of your vast experience.

Thank you for the advice on expanding my vocabulary, the poem that I would like for you to critique would be: Flowers in the meadow. I really worked hard on this poem. I even did research on various types of flowers and definitions for it. I appreciate your comments a lot because there always truthful and you never leave just a good job or keep up the good work. Thank you for your time

Letty

Hehe, mee? =P Will you do me again? Lol, I love your commentss! If not its okies though. =]

Jessy,

I will do any poems left in thsi thread, but it will take some time. You can see the long list I am stuck with. If you are willing to wait, just leave titles, but please not more than two at a time.

Jess, can I also suggest to you, to go through Bert's those two poems on the thread "Autumnal Joy" and "Subtleties in Latitude". I had commented on your poems and had asked to pay a bit more attention to Vision and logical flow. His visions are too powerful. I think you can pick up the idea I was actually referring to from there, especially since you are already such a fine writer.

Mousie,

Your peoms are done.

Can you take a look at My works

My Languid Loneliness
Victim

My.Love.4.u.is.endless,

Your poems are done. You are only the second author in this thread to have a five scoring work from me. The title was "Our Life."

Can I ask you to comment on my works ??

My Languid Loneliness
Life

if you will please...

Kamal,

Your poem is done. That is a good poem but please do punctuate.

Can you please comment upon my poem My Languid Loneliness ??

Jessy Bell,

Your poem is done. Just pay atention to the logical conception of the theme of the poem.

Can you comment on my work "My Languid Loneliness" ??

Debbie,

Your poem is done. I did go through your other poems, apart from "Someone Thoughtful", others are too short for my taste. But it seems you have a talent for short poems.

Well, if you write anything that has more than four stanzas in future, do let me know. Also yours is the second poem that I have not voted because they are too good to get a 4, but not perfect to get a 5. I think the other one was "Kamal". I forgot who it is. Nice! If I am stuck up with a rating between 4 and 5 for a poem taht means I am seeing better poems on this thread and hence meeting better writers. That's wonderful.

Can you please comment on my poem "My Languid Loneliness", if you have the time. ....

Milly,

I went through your poems and choose two according to my taste.

Can you please comment on my works "My Languid loneliness" and "Victim" ??

Sarah,

Your poem is a 5 scorer. The third five scorer on this thread. Great job.

You are on my favotites list.

There was nothing much that I could point out to for improvement.

Can I request you to criticise my poem "My Languid Loneliness" ?

Could you read 'Rose In The Dust' for me please? Thank you ^^

Thankss hunn, and I am willing to wait! =P

Also, I think I have already read that poem but I'll go take a second look. Thankss for the advice! =]]

Thanks for the advice... i changed around the poem... i was wondering if, when you get the chance, you could look at it for me? i'm entering this in a contest, and i really wanna make it good. thank you so much

Dumpstead,
Thankyou for looking into my poem...i haven't had the chance yet get back online (my internet is down)...but i will see it very soon...stay tuned!

To all,

I have had some inputs as to regarding my Poems. Some have expected my poems to be ossum after looking at my comments on their works.

I must tell you all that I am not a good writer. My few pathetic attempts at writing can be roughly termed as rhymes and are not qualified to be considered as poetry. My vocabulary is pathertic and my attitude in my writing is just too bawdy.

But I have read a lot (quite a few in my native language) and what I do have a talent is for analysing. I am very good with handling processes and I am quite organized and I am a Security Specailist for netwroks and an Internal Auditor for my Company which shoudl tell you a bit about my thinking stratergy and thought process. It is due to these skills of mine, that I treat a poem as a system and make use fo the rating scheme provided here that I comment and rate your poems. Yes, I do have my favorites and idealogies of what a poem musst be, but when I comment on one I am impartial and just take a look at a poem whether it is a sustainabale complete system by itself. And my typing is not very consistent so sorry for the typo errors.

Thank you all for being patient while I ahve taken my time to go through your works and I hope my explanation here helps you understand my comments.

Regards,
Dumpstead.

u r back??
is that mean more downvoting of my poems?

Can you please read, "Wildwood flower"

Dumpstead,

I have taken the time to read your comments on my poetry. I sent you a personal message, but you have yet to respond to it. I know you are busy with all the poetry that you are analizing, but if you would be so kind as to let me know if you received it or not, I would appreciate it. It seems a lot of my personal messages go unanswered or lost in delivery. I would just like to know if it you got it.

Thanks
Jeannie

Common Goran,

I told you that it happened due to my ignorance. Really sorry again for that.

Will you never forgive me for my ignorance??

Twisted Heart,

Really Sorry, I have downloaded your sonnet. I will look into it by the end of this week. Please bear with me, I am quite busy at work too.

Don't be upset, I will not let a friendship wane away. I request you to be patient.