Does that make me a bad person?

Does it make me a bad person if my stepdad is incarcerated? Its not my fault hes locked up and besides it was for sumthing stupid and false. I dont want this to effect my life. idk... advice? please dont say negative thoughts. Im upset enough as it is =/

What did you do to get him incarcarated...?

I received a phone call from my fifteen years old stepdaughter who is in no way responsible for her mother's incarceration. She asked me if I could get her mother out of jail. Do I believe my wife is a bad person because she is incarcerated? I don't believe in bad people only in bad choices. There is so much good in the worst of us, and so much bad in the best of us, then who is to judge the rest of us.

" I don't believe in bad people only in bad choices."
I see your point, but there are exceptions.
Thank you BlankIllusion I must admit it has been at times difficult for me to love the sinner and hate the sin.

"Then one of the judges of the city stood forth and said, "Speak to us of Crime and Punishment."
And he answered saying:
It is when your spirit goes wandering upon the wind,
That you, alone and unguarded, commit a wrong unto others and therefore unto yourself.
And for that wrong committed must you knock and wait a while unheeded at the gate of the blessed."
Kahlil Gibran.

My Jord....O' Jordy Jord...

Excuse my otherwise learned prayer to a God I made up...

I was just thinking why would someone blame themselves unless they have had something to do with it...And guilt has caught up with them...

I dont believe that yu should blame your self for anything. If its not your fault that hes imprisioned then dont beat up your self about. Yes you are going to be sad that the your love one has found themselves in such a predicament, we are all humans, hence we make mistakes. But dont let someone else's mistakes get you depressed..

Thanks everyone =]]. I know I didnt do anything, its just that my friends and such, I dont want them to think negative about me. And thats why i feel like it makes me look bad because of my familys background. i feel like yelling "its not ME its HIM" so dont judge me. but I know thats stupid.

It's not stupid to want to yell that because it's true and it's how you feel. Some advice would be to not let your friends define you. I know it sound hard, but if they keep giving you a bad time about it, then maybe they aren't the ones to be hanging out with all the time. Or maybe you just need to talk with them about it. If they are good friends they will listen. Oh, and don't forget to be optimistic! It really helps! :)

~Kat~

Thanx. ^^^your post was very helpful =]]

What happened exactly? And why on earth would you care if someone disapproved of you for someone else's mistakes (or lack there of?). You claim to have nothing to do with your stepdad's incarceration, so what's the problem?

Anyone who would judge you by your family is close-minded and not worth your time.

K, having gone through something pretty much actually the same my advice to you is pretty much what Kat told you ^_^ Don't listen to them and your true friends won't bug you about it, they'll understand and be the ones helping you through it and telling others to leave you alone about it ^_^ When I was going through this I truly found out who my real friends were and which ones I didn't really need so close to me =p It was really hard for me to face the people I knew for quite a while because I thought that they would judge me and hate me but I finally just had to realize that it doesn't really matter what others think of you as long as you come to peace with it yourself and realize that it's not your fault ^_^ Hold your head up, don't listen to the things people say, and keep going with your life =) I know it's easier said then done believe me but you'll find that a lot of the people *like your close close friends and people who REALLY care about you* that you were scared would judge you and blame you actually don't and want to be there to help you ^_^

Hope everything works out for you and remember to keep your head up and don't let other people's thoughts about you bother you ^_^

Hopefully this was at least a little helpful =)
Rhea

Thanks everyone. after reading your advice and since this happened, I really have found out the phonies and my besties. I over think things and care too much about what others think of me.

Hey don't think bad about yourself for over thinking and caring what people think of you it's normal and believe me, for all I say I still do both also and it causes a lot of problems for me so thats why I try to keep others from having to learn the same way =p It's taken me 17 years to get to this point lols Still have a long ways to go though =p
Hope everything works out for you and if you ever need someone to talk to that might be able to understand where you're coming from let me know ^_^
Rhea

Thanks everyone. you've all been a huge help =]]

What Rhea had to say is true. The friends who are true to you will help you get through it. Don't let people tell you how to feel or make you feel bad because it is nothing you did. So don't let it break you.
~Brooke~