by Kelly tavern
Submission date : 2008-03-29
DarkSpirit ( F C D )
I don't like this poem, sorry I really don't want to offend you, especially if this came from your heart, but I don't like it at all. Honestly this isn't a type of poems in which I enjoy, I love deeper pieces with more metaphors and this just ain't my taste. I didn't enjoy in this cause you said all too bluntly and obviously, also I think that your forced, unoriginal rhymes just ruined the atmosphere, I think, don't rhyme if you don't have idea for unique rhymes. And you don't have any punctuation which also left bad impression on me.
Keep writing, maybe someone loves this kind of poetry but I not.