by Kelly tavern
Submission date : 2008-03-29
DarkSpirit ( F C D )
I don't like this poem, sorry I really don't want to offend you, especially if this came from your heart, but I don't like it at all. Honestly this isn't a type of poems in which I enjoy, I love deeper pieces with more metaphors and this just ain't my taste. I didn't enjoy in this cause you said all too bluntly and obviously, also I think that your forced, unoriginal rhymes just ruined the atmosphere, I think, don't rhyme if you don't have idea for unique rhymes. And you don't have any punctuation which also left bad impression on me.
Keep writing, maybe someone loves this kind of poetry but I not.
Ben Pickard ( F P C D )
This doesn't deserve a two, in my opinion.
"When the rain had fell hard" doesn't need the "had" in it though.
Aside from that, I think this is an excellent piece and well written. Honest.
Ssenevol ( F P C D )
This is gorgeous. Not at all what I expected, fast paced but with beautiful heart felt imagery, and emotions that I can very well relate to