or sign in with e-mail
Don't have an account? Register Here!
by Poet on the Piano Mar 17, 2008
Love, romance /
i love you
Whisper those words I long to hear,
Let me know you'll always be near.
Keep me within your thoughts and prayers,
Let me know how much you care.
Whisper all that you want to say,
However you want to, in any way.
Say that I am the key to your door,
And that you couldn't ask for more.
Whisper our song in the darkness of night,
For you will be my true shining light.
You'll always be in my heart and mind,
Our love forever will be refined.
'BrokenREALiTy ( F P C D ) at 2008-03-26
Keep me in your thoughts and prayers,
`I feel like there should be another word in that line to make the beginning flow better.'
Maybe try this 'Keep me within your thoughts and prayers,' Thats adding another syllable without adding the extra word.
Also I thought the last line of the poem felt a bit forced to rhyme to me. Maybe try something a little different to rhyme. :)
Other than that. This poem was simple but so full of emotions and thought. I can see it came straight from the heart. :)
by Still Slightly Broken
I loved it.
Great work :)
This is quite amazing
i love it :)
I loved this poem. I know the feeling of wishing for someone to say those words... I just felt the poem. Every emotion...
This is really sweet :)